[Judged] we're swimming through ghosts;

[Sparrow]

ASTERION vs. KATNISS

@Asterion - Total: 84/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity: 26/30, Realism: 22 /25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity: 11/15, Realism: 13/15
WRITING: Creativity: 5/5, Realism: 4/5, Mechanics: 3/5
BEGINNING STATS: Exp 69 , Health 32, Attack 28, + Pallas Gull Bonded, + Water Manipulation (Periti)

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

• FIRST POST (intro)
  
  • I enjoyed seeing this side of Asterion, especially a hungover side. I personally would have liked to see more detail or explanation as to the immediate environment around the battlefield, but overall a nice start to the battle.

• SECOND POST
  
  • Defensive: No block used. I like that he took Katniss’ draft breeding into account and planned that accordingly, playing it smart by letting the kick hit his rump as opposed to his midsection. The injury and pain received from taking the kick was done in a realistic way, I think, and not at all ‘over-the-top’.
  • Offensive: I really liked this attack. The fact that you took into account Katniss’ armor and her lack of vulnerability is something Asterion would look for, and exploiting one of her few vulnerabilities was a nice touch. The attack made sense and I had no issue following along, and given their close quarters, was completely realistic.
  • Mechanics: Minor grammatical issues; ‘managed as step or two’ opposed to ‘managed a step or two’, but nothing that took away from the post itself.
  • Notes: The attention to detail in this post was really well done. Continuously going back to the differences between Asterion and Katniss was a nice touch, as well as Asterion’s plans on how to exploit their differences to his advantage.

• THIRD POST
  
  • Defensive: No block used. Adding Cirrus in here was a nice touch; I loved getting into her head a little bit, the shared commentary between she and Asterion a nice touch in a tense situation. At first I was a little confused if Finnick had taken Asterion’s ear clean off, given his reaction… But then I thought that since the pain he felt was very real, his panic was sound.
  • Offensive: I love, love, love Asterion’s use of magic here! It was fun and exciting, and I really like that you picked an elk. Maybe I’m partial, who knows? I thought that the use of it was creative, forming the rain into a liquid animal and using that to charge Katniss.
  • Mechanics: The phrase “yet his grin is fled” confused me a little and I struggled to understand what Asterion meant. Was ‘is’ supposed to be ‘had’? A few run on sentences that I found were somewhat convoluted, but I was able to follow the pacing of the post easily enough.
  • Notes: I think this was my favorite post yet. I just really loved Asterion’s emotions here, conflicting against the eagerness he had been feeling at the beginning of the spar. His sudden anger and rage here was a nice touch, especially given the circumstances.

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@Katniss - Total: 76/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity: 22/30, Realism: 21/25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity: 12/15, Realism: 11/15
WRITING: Creativity: 4/5, Realism: 3/5, Mechanics: 3/5
BEGINNING STATS: Exp 10, Health 10, Attack 10, + Harpy Eagle Bonded, + Lightweight plated armor

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

• FIRST POST
  
  • Offensive: I felt like this was a pretty traditional attack yet true to Katniss’ character, a good ‘testing the waters’ kind of move as she gets into the groove of the fight. There were a few things I would have liked to have seen in this post, such as a better use of direction (which way was Katniss trying to flank Asterion?) and taking into account the terrain. I also felt as though her sudden ‘charge’ and ‘stop’ was just that; very sudden, and in my opinion would have been far more difficult to achieve given the difficult terrain of the Steppe. I do like that it wasn’t a frontal charge, and that Katniss attempted to flank Asterion and use that to her advantage, but I couldn’t figure out if she was circling him once or multiple times.
  • Mechanics: There were a few times where the tone of the post shifted, changing from past to present tense. It wasn’t enough to distract from your writing, however, but there were a few grammatical errors that Sid mentioned above. Overall easy and pleasant to read, and not hard to follow.
  • Notes: I really liked Katniss’ level of determination in this post. While she knows that she is the underdog when sparring against Asterion, she very clearly isn’t letting that intimidate or bother her! There were small bits of flavor in here that I enjoyed; the sweat from the armor and heat, and Finnick’s condition.

• SECOND POST
  
  • Defensive: No block used. Having Katniss lean into the attack was a clever idea, trying to minimize the received damage when she knew she couldn’t get out of the way in time to avoid it entirely.
  • Offensive: Using Finnick here was a fun idea, giving Katniss the time she needed to recover. I did feel as though the pause between the action was a little long and somewhat awkward, and too much time was spent on Finnick’s flight to Asterion, but the attack was fun and inventive. Having Finnick use dirt to try and distract Asterion was a good idea as well!
  • Mechanics: Minor grammatical issues, a few breaking up the flow of the post itself as I had to stop and re-read a few of them; ‘proceeded’ instead of ‘preceded’, ‘wat’ instead of ‘way’. I felt as though when Katniss stopped to address Finnick, this really slowed down the pace of the post itself, but everything else flowed smoothly.
  • Notes: So far, I’m really enjoying Katniss’ determination! Despite taking a pretty nasty blow from Asterion, she is still determined to win, and is showing how adaptive she is by changing her technique mid-battle. Her comment of ‘she could practically taste victory’ at the beginning of the post made me chuckle, as that’s very true to her character.

• THIRD POST
  
  • Defensive: No block used. At first I didn’t know what to think about Katniss just standing there and taking the attack, knowing that Asterion’s magic would be pretty strong, but then I came to the conclusion that it fit her character very well. I like that she continued to mention her injury and keep that at the front of her mind, and didn’t try to play it off as ‘nothing’. I also really enjoyed how she struggled to hold her footing and not be knocked off her feet!
  • Mechanics: A few changes of past and present tense, but nothing that stole away from the overall feel of the thread. The flow of this post did feel a bit choppy, however, and I would have liked to have seen more action from her, as opposed to standing there and watching.
  • Notes: I know I already touched on it, but I really liked how you remained true to Katniss’ character throughout this post. In future spars I think I would like to see more animation from her, as I also feel like she spent a lot of the fight on the wayside.

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CLOSING REMARKS: This was a really fun battle to read! I think one of my favorite parts about it all was the emotion and the fun, inventive ways that you both used either your Magic or your Bondeds. Thank you for giving me an engaging and thrilling fight to judge, and good luck to the both of you!

DICE ROLL

@ASTERION:
166 (battle total) + 60 (HTH + ATK) = 226
226 * 1.69 (69 EXP) = 381.94 = 382 (rounded up)

@Katniss:
154 (battle total) + 20 (HTH + ATK) = 174
174 * 1.10 (10 EXP) = 191 (rounded down)

191 + 382 = 573

1-191 = KATNISS, 192-573 = ASTERION

#1: 180 (KATNISS)
#2: 310 (ASTERION)
#3: 460 (ASTERION)
#4: 82 (KATNISS)
#5: 473 (ASTERION)

Proof of dice roll in the Contest Board on Discord on 3/4/2019.
@ASTERION wins.

All damage taken in the thread is still applicable and cannot be retconned!

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Participate in a Battle or Challenge: +1 EXP to Asterion, +1 EXP to Katniss
Win a Battle: +1 additional EXP to Asterion
Total: +2 EXP to Asterion, +1 EXP to Katniss

Asterion's and Katniss’ official experience has been updated to reflect these changes, so there's no need to post in the Experience Updates thread!

This thread is now locked and been archived.