is this a natural feeling or is it just me bleeding?
He would never be allowed to gain rank there, halfbreed that he was. There was no place up there for him, and yearning for it while he was barred from it because of what he had been born as? That was detrimental to his health as well. It left him with so few options, and he could only drag down future lines if he went in that direction, too. Not that Lasairian was meant for those things. He couldn't shake where his heart was at, and he honestly did not want to. He had his ways in how he used magic, and to lose his edge was not something that Lasairian had felt willing to do for brief pleasure. It wasn't enough, and he had already given that option up years ago.
Of course the sting in the fact that he no longer had magic to wield was something that really messed with his head at times. He had forgotten it's loss more than a few times to only be jarred back into remembering in a way that was painful. Lasairian didn't know how to be something without magic, but he was really trying to sort himself out where all of that was concerned. He had gone into the medic skill, was pushing himself into all of that, as much as it tied in back to what his life had been before here, to his mentor and the skill he had been best known for. In some ways, it was more painful that way, and in others, it was better and somehow soothing, too. Confusing, certainly.
Lasairian was keeping his head up regardless, and save for the missing magic, he felt that this was where he belonged now. He was drawn here by some unseen force. Had to be. That was what he believed in now, and he was sticking to it. He did think that a lot of the situations he found himself in worked out rather well for him, as strange as it could be. The Dawn court was about knowledge and so many things that Lasairian believed in, too. The things that he reached for. They had the library, which was undoubtedly his favorite place in all of Novus, and the king of the Dawn court was someone Lasairian already respected upon first meeting him. Not to mention the Dawn deity liked tea.
It was funny and such a small thing, but Lasairian adored tea as well. It made him happy to know that it was something appreciated by the Dawn god, too. Something that Lasairian could work into how he presented to Oriens, too, when it came to that. So there it was, not some grand thing, but a series of small things that fit just right, that felt right to him. For all of that, Lasairian felt pretty content with what he had and what he was working towards. Yes, he was hoping to gain his magic back, or at least part of it. That didn't need to be said, he didn't think. It just was. And with all the books in the library, Lasairian had all he needed to study on it all when he could.
He could be thinking more on that, rather than the past and why being right here and looking out could hurt, but his mind roamed where it wished to sometimes, and Lasairian could only reign it in most of the time and proceed onwards. At least he was distracted enough by the presence of someone else there near him. He hadn't seen them right off, but he heard the movements as he began to turn around and look. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting when he looked and saw the other there, but maybe not what he was seeing. Nothing wrong with what he beheld by any means, no. She wasn't even all that strange with where Lasairian had come from, in fact.
But she was considered different here, in Novus, and Lasairian hadn't seen anyone like here here. He hadn't seen anything quite like her elsewhere, either, but having multiples of eyes and fins wasn't unknown to him, either. Not back there. Here it was a little bit of a surprise, but he didn't feel like it was a bad one by any means. She was a welcome sight to him. Her silence made him wonder if how he had spoken was deemed rude -- and he really hoped not! -- to which he was struggling to figure out how to retrace his words so that she wouldn't be upset by him. Some way to apologize so she did not think unkindly upon him for whatever cultural error he may have made.
Then she finally spoke, and Lasairian relaxed more on that. Coming in on the tide. Made sense with all those fins, so he nodded at her. He was curious though, overly so. He was startled from his questions when she apologized to him on if she disturbed him, and he shook his head quickly, wanting to dispel that thought immediately, "oh no, you are completely fine, no worries on that. I don't mind meeting others," he responded gently, giving her a friendly smile. When she told him her name, and why she did so, Lasairian chuckled warmly. "She's probably right, and it's nice to meet you, Bel. I'm Lasairian, but Lasair works too," he added, glancing back at her tail, "do you mind if I ask what it's like to have a tail like that?" were the curious, questioning words posed to her next.
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