is this a natural feeling or is it just me bleeding?
And that war had left it's mark, of this it was certain. So many that had died, and many were still rebuilding from it when he was born. Four years later, but to them, it was more like a few weeks, maybe months. Many of those that lived there were long-lived species, after all. Another spot where Lasairian did not quite fit, for he aged more quickly than that, which was probably an oddity there, though so was Kier's choice to have an outsider mate. That had helped push the war along, in a way, though even Lasairian could see the selfishness of the situation; product of it or not.
It had not been a good place to be in, being torn between two worlds and the sensitive issue of his father spending half of the time in the Bheo, and half away from it. Two lives, because the fairy tale of it all didn't really exist. Lasairian hadn't seen it all right off, though he had been able to grasp the fact that things hadn't been exactly right at home, and there were trips to go and visit his half sister with his father and older brother. The whole thing had been a little rough, and eventually it was a puzzle that Lasairian could put together more to look at. Which did not make it easier to see.
Those personal things were what Lasairian could and would talk about, as conflicted as he was about the complicated family dynamic -- how did one really warm up to the fact that they were born out of some attempt of their father to try to rekindle things lost with their mother, and see all the little places in which that had still failed? -- but Lasairian wasn't closed off about that part of his life. He didn't often speak of it, but he hadn't been blind to it, either. No reason to keep hush hush about something that was fairly obvious to anyone he had grown up around though. A good portion of those there had been empaths, anyway.
Not something Lasairian had ever gained, but he had been blessed with a block to that, and could not be read by them. He'd probably lost that here too, though. At least he hadn't met anyone yet here that seemed to be able to read
him that way. Small mercies. Still, Lasairian understood mental anguish, understood a murky sort of past. He had wrapped himself up in those things, and found himself to be somewhat emotionally self-destructive, too. He had tried not to be, but in the end there was a place in his emotions that he simply could not control or apply logic to. It was what it was.
Easier to focus on where Bel was leading the conversation now, as opposed to what was going on in his own mind, thinking of the stuff he shouldn't speak about. Bel was telling him that a healer was a worthy life to pave, and Lasairian nods to this; it's probably the best thing he could do with what he knew, what interested him in pursuing. Then Bel was saying that she found most plants she came across to get to Novus too foreign to be sure they wouldn't poison instead of heal. Lasairian chuckled lightly, "it certainly does take time to figure out what plants do what. I was raised around it, and got to watch another healer work for years to get to this point," he pointed out softly.
Her question as to if he had always inspired to be a healer or something else when he was younger had Lasairian looking thoughtful, then shrugging some, "it wasn't my first thought as for an occupation, no, but it was always something I wanted to be able to do, even if on the side. I tend to get more caught up in learning magic, though I do not currently have any here," he responded evenly. Maybe that wasn't so much an occupation, but it had been what he wanted to do with his life, back when it seemed a more likely possibility for him. Here and now, he wasn't so sure.
At the follow up question, however, Lasairian looked very uncertain, but was attentive enough to what Bel was saying about how her childhood games were. Lasairian could at least say something for that, if not as what she had described. "I wasn't born to this form, so I don't really know how the youth play, but personally we did have hide-and-seek and dares. We would spar to see who was better at that, too. Honestly there weren't a whole lot of children around at any one time. Little ones could be a bit rare in my culture, but they usually take a long time to mature, too," he answered lightly.
He wasn't sure he wanted to explain that his bloodlines were somewhere on the side of endangered after the last war and the toll it had taken on them, all those lives lost to it. Lasairian knew that the different growth rate meant that he was able to jump from one group to another as he grew, finding more of them where he was in maturity the more he grew. "In my culture, things can take a long time to happen. We had a war some years back that wiped a lot of our people out. It shouldn't have happened," he said after a moment, understanding the give and take of information in this way.
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