daddy didn’t love you gotta burn it all down
There was profound wisdom in Luvena’s words, and Israfel swallowed up her damnable pride and listened.
Nearly everything that Luvena divulged hit a little too close to home and the Sun Daughter shifted in her stance, clearly uncomfortable with how to receive such sage advice. She frowned, rose-kissed lips tugged minutely downwards as vermilion eyes stared outwards without truly seeing. An ear flicked back for a moment, listening to the vague sound of a woodland creature skulking around a few paces away from them. It was a good distraction, if but for a time.
Luvena spoke of life and occupation, of desire and children. The Regent pondered her own daughter. It had been literal seasons since she had seen Charlie last, or even heard from her. Her daughter could be dead and rotting in the ground for all she knew and Israfel would simply be none the wiser. Was it the thought of her very own daughter holding her back, like how the memory of Him kept drawing her back to this very place?
The Regent inhaled sharply, ears forward and erect, gnashing her teeth in displeasure. This wasn’t an easy conversation to have or to listen to, but as her narrowed eyes of burning red focused back more on Luvena, thin, gangly, sickly Luvena, she felt her sudden ire slowly dim.
There was something peaceful and wise about the narrow woman before her, with her frail bones and body so weak yet a mind so profoundly strong.
Suddenly Israfel grinned sardonically and shook her head sadly. “I’ve felt very little since I was reborn,” she admitted with a rough timbre, and the words scathed her tongue with more ferocity than her very own flames ever could, “I thought Novus would hold purpose for me… And I suppose that it did, for awhile, at least.” She paused, and a thoughtful frown warped the melancholic grin from her lips.
“I don’t give two shits about Novus’ gods either, but I guess I’m bias.” Being the daughter of a far superior God made it hard for her to have much affection for any others, especially the rag-tag bunch that presided over Novus.
Not wanting to linger on such a sentiment, no matter how shared, the Sun Daughter cleared her throat and went on. She rolled a shoulder, trying to appear nonchalant despite feeling anything but. “I feel as though I’ve failed as a soldier, a mother. I feel as though I’m clinging to whatever my life used to be, and that includes Charlie, and… I haven’t seen her in months. I wonder if I should just let her go.” Alive or dead, Israfel truly doubted that her daughter wanted much to do with her anymore. Maybe it was time to stop holding on and simply let go. “Staying in Terrastella feels like a death sentence. I… I think I should move on. At least for a little while.”
But where would she go? And could she truly leave?
Israfel had lived in and served Terrastella since before nearly every other soul there. It was her home... But could a place truly be a ‘home’ if it lacked both heart and soul? What could make a ‘home’?
Tilting her head quizzically, the Regent’s shoulders seemed to slump a little as the tension within her seeped away. Her shoulders relaxed, posture loosening, and she sighed, world weary and haggard. Maybe she didn’t need to take this journey alone. Maybe, with a friend, the first few terrifying steps wouldn’t be so daunting. When her eyes once more met Luvena’s, the ruby red depths were clear for the first time in months.
“... May I escort you back to Denocte, Lu? I think I’m due for a vacation.”
@Luvena
