Meira
maybe then
I'd feel alive without you
C
allynite does not flinch beneath Meira's volatile gaze. It is a feat that the soldier does not ignore because she knows that deer are so often prey. The Sovereign is only lucky that Meira no longer belongs to the sea in the same way that she used to. Cervidae never suited her anyway. That was a long time ago, it seemed like another lifetime now. Callynite was respectful and allowed Meira to finish sharing her anger, and then she began a story of her own. She explains that she is not a native to Novus, and this confession hardly surprises Meira. Callynite and that stag who roams the streets of Delumine are the only two that she has ever seen in Novus. At least beyond the ones that flee into the wilds and do not share the same forms of communication. Yet, the more that the Sovereign shares, the more Meira finds disdain for her. Like the previous Sovereigns, she is a mage too. The rotting words of the fire bender ring in her ears then. Get used to it, magic is everywhere.Callynite explains she is a druid and was once a goddess far beyond the reach of Novus. None of that means much to Meira, who has been devout to Solis since the moment she could breathe. It was a funny thing to her, how something from the sea could love the sun so violently. She listens, with patience she did not know she had. The Sovereign tries to relate to her by sharing her own anger and frustrations about being dropped into an entirely new world. It is not the same, and she is unsure if she can appreciate the effort of Callynite sharing her story with the soldier. She has never been fond of stories, she was always more fond of trading blows. Meira cannot relate to the doe, although she knows that Callynite wishes that were the case. Why else would she share so much with a bitter soldier who saw no home in Novus? Then as her story winds to a close, she asks Meira if she is worth fighting for.
The question feels like ice water seeping into her veins. As if the arctic currents have torn her veins open and poured themselves inside. The answer is a stone sinking to the seafloor. She knows the answer all too well, and although she knows the doe has good intentions, it still hurts far more than she is willing to admit. Meira jerks herself backward, away from the soft gesture that the doe has offered to her. She does not want comfort from a stranger, and even less from someone who forced her to confront uncomfortable truths while she is highly vulnerable. "No. You will be wasting your time. I am not worth the effort." Meira speaks, and there is a chill in her voice now. As if that question alone was enough to empty Meira of everything that made her real. She feels dead, and that is because she has been dead for a long time now. Not in the literal sense, but something rose beyond the physical realm. Callynite asks why Meira won't fight for herself. Then the rage begins to surge, and it forces all that ice water out of her veins. Her bodice swells and she stands at her full height, peering daggers down at Callynite.
"You ask as though I have not spent every second fighting of every day fighting for myself. Fighting for a peace I may never have. I have survived far more than you can imagine, and most would never guess by looking at me. When do you stop just surviving though? I don't know where I will go if I leave Delumine, because the only place that has ever been home to me is the sea. I have only been loved by the violent tempest, or an angry and violent god, and now I have not even that. This is not a funk, Callynite, because I am still fighting for my life. I am hunted everywhere I go in Novus, including in your very own Delumine. I very much doubt that you have the ability to keep me safe, because Delumine has not kept me safe so far." Meira's words are violent and hot. She peers down at Callynite, and there is indignation burning in her heart.
"Your magic will not stop him. He would sooner eat your heart and leave you for dead. All magic sows rot, one way or another. Imagine the inability to be safe even surrounded by talented soldiers. You have fought, and I can understand and respect that.. But you have not fought for the love of our gods because you were one. Maybe Novus was punishing you for daring to have so much power... They have never been fond of sharing. I can understand that you are trying to relate to me, and your struggles are valid Callynite, but we too are vastly different." Meira speaks again, as if her words are a warning of danger. In a way they are... But it is not certain if she is the threat just yet.
"Can you promise me safety here? If not, then I am better off on my own. At least then I know I can count on myself."
@Callynite
