[Judged] those are the pearls that were his eyes;

[inkbone]

Asterion VS Florentine

@Asterion - Total: 70/100

• Attacks 42/55
  
  
  • 23/30 -- Based on creativity of your offense (originality, imagination, and attention to detail).
  • 1st post: Introductary post, and not judged. This does not count against your score.
    
  • 2nd post: While not particularly creative, there's only so many moves that equines can do in a fight - so I cannot knock points from this one. It was a very logical attack, as Florentine was in such close quarters!
    
  • 3rd post: I liked how Florentine tried to take him off guard, so in turn it was almost like he tried to take her off guard, too. While her attack was a little bit more easily avoided, his not so much... what with her still processing the kinetic energy from her own attack. I would expect her to stumble in an effort to avoid him, if I'm honest!
  
  
  • 19/25 -- Based on realism of your offense (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
    
    • 1st post: Introductary post, and not judged. This does not count against your score.
      
    • 2nd post: Rear attacks are pretty standard for most equine fights, so I would say that this definitely fits right in! I liked how you mentioned him puttings his weight back on his haunches - would make for an easy spring-off to either attack again, or to flee/maneuver away. I deducted a few points because I was initially very confused with "bounds fo rher, flinging his forehooves towards the area of her chest and shoulders." Initially, it sounded as if he ran at her, skidded, and brought his hoof up to paw at her.. but when I read further, I realized it was meant to come across as him rearing at her.
      
    • 3rd post: Based on how much she might be distracted from her own attack, it seemed like a logical move, for Asterion to try and use the suddenness and his weight/height difference to catch her off guard.
  
  
• Blocks 19/30
  
  
  • 11/15 -- Based on creativity of your defense (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
    
    • 1st post: Introductary post, and not judged. This does not count against your score.
      
    • 2nd post: The idea for crow-hopping to avoid an impact is an interesting one - it immediately brought to mind people "jumping" over speeding cars.
      
    • 3rd post: Can't even lie, "him wondering if she’d truly meant to maim him" made me giggle! I felt the subtle coyness dripping from just that statement alone.
    
    
  • 8/15 -- Based on realism of your defense (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
    
    • 1st post: Introductary post, and not judged. This does not count against your score.
      
    • 2nd post: While interesting, I can't say it's completely realistic... I don't think he'd be able to get enough upward movement to be able to significantly avoid any of her impact, and she would probably still land the majority of her impact on his flank.
      
    • 3rd post: While Florentine's kick was full of emotion and intent, it definitely could have been easily avoided - as was.
  
  
• Writing Metrics 9/15
  
  
  • 4/5 -- Based on overall writing creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
    
    • 1st post: The nervousness reads very well through your writing style!
      
    • 2nd post: You can definitely feel the "switch" in mentality in your writing style. Before, when Asterion is nervous and doesn't know what to do.. your writing focuses a lot on his mental state, thoughts, and words. When the adrenaline starts pumping, you can see your writing style focus more on the physical.
      
    • 3rd post: There's a little bit of history in his post, and that's wonderful to see! You can definitely tell his personality, and the difference in his and Florentine's upbringing (without even needing to read their histories).
    
    
  • 3/5 -- Based on overall realism (how your physical mechanics are described through the writing, and whether you accurately reflect your Health, Attack, Magic Level, and Bonded) 
    
    • 1st post: I particularly liked how you mentioned and worded his distraction from the cold, and the jumpy nerves/itching skin/round-eyes were a very good, detailed touch.
      
    • 2nd post: I would have liked to see you flesh out the physical aspects of his attack - like posing, stance, etc - a tiny but more! But overall, I felt this was a very nice 'shift' post where you could see his change in mentality :>
      
    • 3rd post: I liked reading about him 'spacing out' in thought, momentarily before Florentine's kick. It's well worded and especially poignant, because when he shies away it almost gives the impression that he seems perplexed by her off-the-mark attack.
    
    
  • 2/5 -- Based on writing metrics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc)
    
    • 1st post: "To bid him find her, when he was ready" reads a little odd, I'm unsure if that's a spelling mistake?
      
    • 2nd post: "Hooves a tattoo on the half-frozen ground" is an odd phrase, in my own opinion.. ultimately, I believe I got the point it was trying to make. It just comes across as a non-traditional statement!
      
    • 3rd post: There seems to be a few commas missing here and there (particularily in the "his fears are allayed by the words and tone[,] though...") as well as a few minor spelling mistakes ("as [he] hooves return to soil"). I feel like there may be a few too many run-on/overly complex sentences in this post, but none of them read bad.

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@Florentine - Total: 72/100

• Attacks 43/55
  
  
  • 27/30 -- Based on creativity of your offense (originality, imagination, and attention to detail).
  • 1st post: Running head-first into a battle with not even a lick of an idea of how she'll attack... can't say that's exactly smart, but from a standpoint of plot creativity, it sure lends well to that! Aiming for the soft spot behind his ribs was also a very adept move.
    
  • 2nd post: In my opinion, her attack was the shining star of this post. It's wonderfully creative, and while not completely fool-proof, it certainly showcases her personality. Florentine may be a honey-sweet flower girl.. but the jabs she takes - both here, and at other characters out of spite and jealousy - resound beautifully in her choice of attacks.
    
  • 3rd post: No attacks in this post, as they have been all used. This does not count against your score.
  
  
  • 16/25 -- Based on realism of your offense (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
    
    • 1st post: While I can't say that shouldering an opponent is realistic to equines, we are talking about ponies with wings and horns! I would have liked to see more description of how exactly she angled her body. Did she shoulder him with the side of her chest/front of her shoulder, or did she attempt to ram into him with the side of her shoulder? Did she approach the attack in a t-bone fashion, or did she suddenly swing her body to the side and go parallel to him for a broader area of impact?
      
    • 2nd post: Like I said, her attack is the shining star of this post. While creative, it also showed that you put some very extensive thought into it. Not only would this be something that Asterion wouldn't necessarily be expecting the sudden twirl/pivot and kick, but flaring her wings for balance was an exceptionally smart idea.
      
    • 3rd post: No attacks in this post, as they have been all used. This does not count against your score.
  
  
• Blocks 20/30
  
  
  • 11/15 -- Based on creativity of your defense (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
    
    • 1st post: No defense in the first post, per the standard. This does not count against your score.
      
    • 2nd post: Bringing her (lack of) experience into her 'defense' was a lovely move! Especially fantastic because, while she seems to mentally admit she's lacking in expertise, she still seems indignant.
      
    • 3rd post: I do like how she tried to use her pegasus(ly??? is that a word?) advantage to try and outsmart his attempt at catching her off guard!
    
    
  • 9/15 -- Based on realism of your defense (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
    
    • 1st post: No defense in the first post, per the standard. this does not count against your score.
      
    • 2nd post: I'm not going to lie, I absolutely died laughing at "I said anywhere but my face!" Absolutely died. And then questioned my morals, because they're siblings and that's just odd... (I mean, so was likening her brother to Reich, but well. We'll pretend I don't remember that one ;D) While not a smart choice, guarding your throat woudl be realistic if someone was, say, biting at it. But given her inexperience, it's completely plausible for Flor to impulsively think that might be a 'wonderful' idea.
      
    • 3rd post: And while I do like it in a creative sense, I can't help but wonder if it works in a realistic sense? Taking flight to avoid an attack is definitely possible, but I can't help but think that she would need more than just a quick lurch forward to get her airborn.
  
  
• Writing Metrics 9/15
  
  
  • 4/5 -- Based on overall writing creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
    
    • 1st post: Seeing Florentine's own interjections - her own thoughts, insecurities, jealousies, lusts - brought a very realistic note to your writing. While Asterion is visibly nervous... Florentine is too, but in her own way, and it's easy to see between both of your writing styles!
      
    • 2nd post: I love how they're taking their time outs to bicker at each other about their lovers... sigh, really, you two? ;)
      
    • 3rd post: This post seems to focus much, much more on the physical aspect than anything else. This is not a bad thing at all, as it's a nice change and shows adaptability!
    
    
  • 2/5 -- Based on overall realism (how your physical mechanics are described through the writing, and whether you accurately reflect your Health, Attack, Magic Level, and Bonded) 
    
    • 1st post: Like I stated up in the realism of your offense, I would have liked to see a little more emphasis on body positioning (or lack thereof)! 
      
    • 2nd post: I really do feel like you covered all of your bases with this post! You expanded on a lot of topics: emotions, thoughts, and there was a significantly larger amount of physical-based descriptions.
      
    • 3rd post: I would have liked to see a little bit more explanation about Florentine's dodge, realism-wise. While it may very well be possible to get her airborn with just two pumps of her wings and a lurch forward... I do feel that it would be massive strenuous on her body. Would have been nice to see the muscle strain put into words!
    
    
  • 3/5 -- Based on writing metrics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc)
    
    • 1st post: Everything looked good - although it seems like you forgot some form of punctuation after "How is Aislinn"?
      
    • 2nd post: "He may think of her as some unknown quantity capable of..." seems odd. 'Quantity' as a noun does not exactly seem to fit the situation. "Their battle on this rocky outcrop, beneath a clear blue sky and a drowsy morning sun, is as far from that place of death" - 'as far from X' should, grammatically, be used to compare the place to something. So for example, 'as far from that place of death as sunshine was from darkness.' Or, another option would be to make it say 'is far from that place of death,' taking out the 'as.' And "... all down the girl's face [where] his hoof..." is missing the 'where.' 
      
    • 3rd post: I wasn't able to find anything wrong with this post!