Character #1: @Somnus Bonded: Yes, Alba the Barn Owl Magic: Yes, Blood Manipulation at Vexillum Tier Armor: No Weapons: No Current Health: 22 Current Attack: 18 Current Experience: 40
Character #2: @Eulalie Bonded: Yes, Tabbris the Gryphon Magic: No Armor: No Weapons: No Current Health: 11 Current Attack: 9 Current Experience: 20
No man was ever wise by chance.
”Are you ready, darling?”
The question echoed amidst the chilly air, a winter breeze blowing through the air and tousling the hair about their very heads. While the cusp of winter had arrived, Somnus and Eulalie had managed to sneak away to the Steppe before the first snowfall of the year. The pock marked earth beneath their hooves was frozen and hard, the soil having little to no give beneath their large bodies. There was a very high risk of a sprained fetlock should they not be careful, and not for the first time since departing Delumine, Somnus wondered if this was a good idea.
It wasn’t that he doubted Eulalie’s abilities, not at all… He simply felt as though there was something indescribably wrong with physically fighting your soul-mate in battle, even if it was just a test of mettle and skill. Despite what some might believe, Eulalie was a soldier of Delumine, and Somnus knew that he needed to treat her as such. The last thing he wanted to do was offend her by turning down the offer of a friendly spar.
Together, they had left Delumine behind in favor of the expected battle grounds upon the Steppe. Side by side they had walked the familiar paths and trails through the forest, traveling south at a leisurely pace. They flirted as young lovers would, and more than often Somnus would brush the feathers of his wing against the ridges of Eulalie’s pale spine simply because he could. They were married now, after all. They were one.
Married. He could scarcely believe the thought. Oriens, the mighty, knowing Oriens, had blessed their union himself. Aside from the day that Regis and Anemone had been born, the day of their wedding would forever be the one that brought him the most joy and heartfelt warmth. Since that day of the blessing beneath Oriens’ early light and knowing eyes, Somnus knew Eulalie in a way he had never known her before. Within his breast, in the cradle of his heart, he could feel her there. A steady pulse, a steady presence, the beautiful woman of ivory and gold was always with him. Their spirits intertwined forevermore, they were intimately familiar with one another that in no way had to do with physicality. They were more than that now. Spiritual, perhaps. With all of the words he knew and had at his disposal, Somnus knew that he could never properly articulate the wonder that had accrued between he and his wife.
With hushed whispers and soft laughters as though they were on their way to a date as opposed to a spar, both husband and wife arrived at the Bellum Steppe. They got into position; Somnus, with his back towards the southern coastline of the Terminus Sea and able to to see the impressive peak of Veneror to the north, allowed for Eulalie to pick whichever point she desired to begin their battle. The afternoon sun shone brightly overhead from an overcast sky, revealing a battlefield of upturned earth. The trees surrounding the steppe shifted and swayed with the might of the winter breeze, and even though Somnus shivered from the chill that swept over him, it was also in part due to his excitement.
The dunalino’s emerald eyes glittered as he watched Eulalie, awaiting her confirmation of preparation. Alba soared in lazy circles overhead, uncertain if she would be needed on this easy-going spar or not. Somnus had no intention on using his bonded in this fight, at least not yet, but that might change. Eulalie was a brilliant tactician, just as he was, and even though this was just for fun, well… Things always changed on the battlefield.
Already Somnus’ pulse was pounding in his ears, the beat of his heart seeming to increase ten-fold. The wide, exuberant smile adorning his dark lips gave way to his genuine eagerness and excitement, and he quivered in anticipation.
“Good luck, my darling wife.”Wife. His eyes sought out Eulalie’s pools of warm, loving brown, and he drowned in her stare. You are that and so much more.
tag:
Summary: Somnus and Eulalie arrive to the Bellum Steppe. Somnus is waiting for Eulalie to make the first attack, facing north towards Veneror Peak. Alba is circling overhead waiting for Somnus to call her if he wants to.
Attack Used: 0 (UPDATE THIS WHENEVER YOU USE AN ATTACK) Attack(s) Left: 2 (UPDATE THIS WHENEVER YOU USE AN ATTACK) Block Used: 0 (UPDATE THIS WHENEVER YOU USE A BLOCK) Block(s) Left: 1 (UPDATE THIS WHENEVER YOU USE A BLOCK) Item(s) Used: LIST ANY ITEMS USED, IF ANY
Eulalie’s voice splits the bite of winter air with a crooked smile and a mischievous glint in her dark brown eyes. She stands between him and the Arma Mountains and the bright noon sun shines across her back, though it doesn’t offer her much warmth. The threat of winter is real, and it nips at her skin with a harsh wind as she looks across the Steppe at her husband. Oh, getting him to agree to this spar was a small miracle, but Eulalie had ulterior motives to asking him to fight her.
There is dark change in this world of theirs, and while the ivory woman loves Somnus very much for his heart and his mind, she needs to be sure he can protect himself, though she could never admit her fear to him. Her fear that the things happening in Novus might taken him from her. Imagining anything at all bad happening to him or her children, well… she tries not to think about it, but it is a horribly real possibility that she feels she needs to prepare for. Eulalie would give her life for her family, she just hopes she never will have to.
The wind blows down from the mountains and against her back. Her long golden hair is carefully braided out of the way, and the thick plaits lay heavily against her neck. She looks at Somnus and she thinks of their journey here. She still feels like a newlywed, the way her heart skips a beat every time he is near to her, and the way his verdant eyes upon her make her glow. She thinks her adoration for him will always make her feel like a newlywed, because she can only fall in love with him more and more, again and again, each day.
She could fall into his eyes and get lost in a sea of green, easily and happily. But she stills her racing heart and reminds herself that they are here for a reason. Her husband is a tactician, but is he a warrior? Today, Eulalie intends to discover for herself, through this spar. A shadow falls over her from above and she knows it is Alba. The presence of Somnus’ bonded makes the woman glance behind her. Tabbris had insisted he come of course, for their safety he claimed, even though he knew he likely wouldn’t fight. She’s surprised the gryphon hasn’t fallen asleep yet, lazing in the sun as he is.
Eulalie turns back to Somnus as he speaks, and the way he looks at her warms her far more than the sun ever could. When she smiles again, it is soft and speaks volumes more of the way she feels for him than words alone would be able to. The ivory and gold woman closes her eyes and breathes, once, twice. When she opens her eyes, the spark from earlier is back. She raises her front legs, bending her knees and stomping them back to the ground to ease the chill that has settled in her bones while they have stood there.
“Good luck to you, too, my dearest husband,” she says, and then she launches herself into a run. It feels good to stretch her legs, even though she’s headed on a collision course for the love of her life. She gives no indication of her plans in her eyes, there is only a sparkle of the sun and a warrior’s focus. Until the last moment when she slams on the breaks. The force of her forward momentum turns her body sideways, and her hooves kick up a dust cloud that is pushed toward Somnus by the wind coming down the peak of Veneror.
In the time it takes Eulalie to stop enough to complete the turn her body has already half made itself, the dust is beginning to settle. She can only hope it’s enough to disorient Somnus if her sudden stop wasn’t bewildering enough because then she is rising on her front legs with her back kicking out toward her husband’s chest. There is not adequate power there to hurt him if he has not moved out of the way of her attack. When her hooves touch the ground again Eulalie begins to dart away, out of his reach. “Your move, my love,” she says on the wind playfully; this is not a vicious battle, after all, and she could not bring herself to truly injure him regardless.
Summary: Eulalie takes a place across the Steppe from Somnus, between himself and the mountains where he faces. She thinks a little bit about life and bad things and reminds herself that this is why she asked him to spar her, even if it's just a friendly battle. She charges at him, but comes to a rather sudden and violent stop, kicking up dust and dirt that she attempts to use as a cover for her attack: a kick to his chest with her back legs, although it is not intended to injure him. Then she tries to dart out of his reach and playfully taunts him.
Somnus was no warrior, despite his tactical prowess in battle. Had he seen war? Yes. The fires of Vhallen and the scent of innocent blood staining marble still woke him from his most disquieting of nightmares. No. Despite his lack of skills on the battlefield, he understood war almost intimately. He understood the way that adrenaline coursed through the blood, causing the heart to thump wildly within the chest. He understood the need for rapid-fire communication between mind and body, the need to make a snap decision and stick to it for better or worse. He understood, and that was perhaps one of the reasons why he was here. Standing here at the Bellum Steppe across from Eulalie was no war, but it was a battle. They were not here with the desire to harm or draw blood, but to ensure that they both knew how to protect themselves should war ever come knocking on their doorstep.
Breathing in deeply, Somnus allowed the crisp air to filter into his lungs, enjoying the calm before the storm. Would there be a storm? Not quite. They were not here for storms of rage and prowess. ‘Love’ was the ultimate motivator in this spar. Others might not understand, but he didn’t give it much thought. Emerald eyes closed but for a moment, relishing in the feel of the cool air brushing against his quivering skin. Was it from the cold, or from anticipation?
Regardless, the dunalino’s gaze slid open slowly, his eyes taking only a second to focus on the ivory form of his beloved, her golden tresses swaying like a halo in the breeze. Eulalie stood there only paces away, standing like a glittering beacon, and his eyes roamed her every feature. For appreciation, yes, because he could honestly never get enough of her beauty and wonder, smitten with the freckles that dotted her cheeks, but mostly to size her up.
They stood nearly identical in height, their bodies remarkably similar despite the fact that Somnus carried a far more ‘sturdy’ type of build. Neither one of them carried cumbersome bulk to slow down their movements, and Eulalie’s legs were straight and nimble, able to carry her across the grounds as fluidly as his wings could carry him through the skies. On the ground at first glance, they were practically tied… But Somnus had his wings, and his horn. The latter was a weapon that he had been born with, a sharp end that could be used for stabbing and maiming, but never in his right mind would he even fathom turning such an organic weapon upon the mother of his children and the keeper of his heart.
No. For this fight, Somnus would remain grounded. There would be no reason to attempt an aerial advantage. Just as well, he would exhibit caution to keep the sharp point of his horn well away from Eulalie’s soft skin.
Ever so faintly did his wings lower and relax, curling back to sit comfortably against his sides. The dunalino’s golden shoulders rolled back, his eyes rooted upon Eulalie’s form, waiting, anticipating… But it seemed that he did not have to wait long. Like a streak of lightning she took off, pushing off of the pock-marked earth to cross the distance between them. Immediately fear blossomed within Somnus’ breath, causing his breath to hitch and mouth to part, terrified that she might sprain a fetlock or trip upon such difficult, uneven terrain.
Eulalie’s grace could not be faked, however, her steps confident and true and like an angel she glided over the rough terrain of the battle-scarred Steppe. Somnus’ eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching, but he did not try to move away or balk from whatever she intended. Whatever came his way, he would take it. Ears pinned back flat against wild strands of alabaster, the Dawn King braced himself, his expression fierce, determined, and proud. So proud.
He watched as Eulalie suddenly halted, her hind legs tucked beneath round haunches as dirt and rubble were kicked up every which way. The chilly winter breeze carried the dust and dirt through the air to rain down upon him, chunks of both pelting his skin and a rock striking him upon the upper lip, but he paid it no mind. Eulalie’s hind end swung wide around to face him, and bracing herself upon her front legs, she kicked out with her hind legs back at him.
Somnus took a step back to brace himself and tossed his head into the air, jaw upright and nose pointed towards the skies to avoid the blow. One of her hooves struck him upon the right breast, the blow holding a considerable amount of force behind it to momentarily knock the air from his chest. There was pain, yes, dull and sudden and mildly uncomfortable, but he could immediately tell that Eulalie was pulling her blows. The sharp edges of her hooves did not pierce skin or draw blood, the blow itself more a bludgeoning force that might bruise, but nothing of genuine concern.
Her words of flirtatious challenge danced along the breeze and met his ears, and Somnus, heart thumping wildly within his chest, grinned ruefully. He surely looked a mess; wild and carefree, ivory tresses and tumbled mess about his handsome face. Typically so poised and proper, it was terribly exhilarating to just let go.
Not pausing long enough to toss any words back at her, despite how much he bloody well wanted to, the Dawn King decided to act. Sometimes action was a far more reliable form of communication. Inhaling deeply, Somnus’ wings spread and snapped out to attention at his sides, mottled feathers of tan and white fanning wide. In a sweeping arc the dunalino lunged forward, letting his wings propel him forward in an attempt to catch Eulalie before she could dart off too far and out of reach. Taking note of the unsteady ground beneath his hooves, Somnus charged after her, the sound of wind rushing by his ears and the pounding of his very own pulse reverberating within his skull.
Eyes locked on the curve of Eulalie’s right hip, Somnus stretched his neck out, hooves thundering upon the earth as he did his best to keep pace with her and stay at her right side. Reaching out, the stallion attempted to snap forward and latch his teeth upon the skin of her right side or snatch the flesh of her right hip. Whether he succeeded or not, Somnus stumbled to a halt, hooves scrabbling and scraping against uneven, hole-ridden earth, tripping once or twice but not enough to send him off balance.
Wind tousled hair billowed around his frame and Somnus laughed, hearty and loud. Oh, but it had been such a long time since he had felt so alive! Emerald eyes glittered in the sunlight, rooted upon Eulalie’s veil of ivory and golden wonder. No words were needed, not when his expression spoke so earnestly for him;
’I love you.’
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Summary: Somnus stood his ground for Eulalie’s attack, letting himself be covered in dust and pelted with a stone. He also took her attack and was struck upon the right chest, the wind momentarily being knocked from him as well as taking some pain. In response to Eulalie running away, Somnus gave chase and aimed a bite at her right hip/flank area, before stopping the game of cat and mouse.
It is a lie to admit that feeling her hooves strike against her husband’s flesh and bone doesn’t make Eulalie’s stomach churn. Even knowing that she pulls back on the force of it, stopping herself from using all of her power, it’s difficult not to feel the beginnings of guilt in her chest. Somnus doesn’t try to move out of her reach, doesn’t take any sort of defensive measures to prevent the blow, and Eulalie can’t be sure if she should be mad at him for taking a hit that could so easily injure him or not. He doesn’t give beneath the force of her attack, however, remaining upright and strong and slowly her guilt turns to something like pride.
As she turns and darts away from him, her playful jest sweeping back on the wind, she hears her husband begin to give chase. With a smirk Eulalie pushes her stride, stretching her neck out as she runs. She doesn’t risk turning back to see where Somnus is, careful of where she puts her hooves on the frozen, broken ground. Even so, she sees the flashing gold of his skin as he nears her side, and it eases her fears of having possibly injured him, to see that he can run. Her pride swells just a little bit more as he keeps pace with her across the Steppe.
Tabbris, who now lays within her line of sight, lifts his head with sudden curiosity. It is the only indication she needs that something is happen that she cannot see, and Eulalie turns to look back toward her right flank. Somnus reaches his head out toward her hip, and she sees the sun flash off his exposed teeth. It’s too late for her to move away from the bite, and she would not risk kicking out at him for fear of injuring his leg or making him stumble and fall on the uneven ground.
The few seconds it takes for his teeth to find purchase on her skin feel like minutes. Her eyes widen in surprise and then narrow at the stinging sensation that lashes outward from the bite. And when Somnus comes to a tripping halt, laughter billowing out of him, his green eyes shining the way she loves seeing them do, Eulalie almost stops too. She wants to stop and laugh with him, to go to him and wrap him tightly in a hug and tell him she loves him with all of her heart. She wants to stop and rejoice with him of the pounding of their hearts, but she reminds herself yet again that they are here for a reason. That she asked him here for a reason.
So even though Eulalie wants to stop with him, she does not. Instead she turns toward him, circling around his right side at a few feet’s distance. As she circles Somnus, she can still feel the sting of where his teeth has bit down on her hip. It might bleed, she thinks, but the woman ignores it in favor of planning her next attack. Her earth brown eyes trail along her husband’s gilded form, searching for weaknesses. Were this a true fight, were he an enemy, she might go for his wings or his legs. Precious appendages that, if seriously injured, could turn the tide in her favor. But there is no tide here today not really.
There is only Eulalie, who circles closer and closer to Somnus as though he were her earth, her home, and she the sun being pulled in by his gravity. She orbits him twice, tightens her jaw, narrows her eyes and makes her decision. That mischievous look turns up the corner of her lips again.
In a moment she is closing the short distance between them again, striding over the few feet she has left between them in her circling. She rushes his left hip and once she’s within striking range she rises onto her back legs. Her front hooves swing out, though she aims the blunt bottoms as opposed to the sharp edges, for his hip and thigh. Places with plenty of muscle between flesh and bone, so that her blows will not impair him. Eulalie strikes out and stays close, knowing that without much room to maneuver any counter attack he may have will play poorly in this close space.
Summary: By the time Eulalie realizes Somnus' intended attack, it is too late for her to escape his reach and he successfully bites down on her hip. Instead of stopping when he does, she begins to circle him, ignoring checking the wound in favor of continuing the battle. She assumes it isn't bad, but can feel its sting and thinks it might bleed. She circles Somnus twice, slowly encroaching on him, before charging his left flank. Once close enough, Eulalie rears and strikes out at his hip and thigh area with the undersides of her front hooves so that she won't cut him. She stays close, knowing any attack he might make will have less power as such close quarters.
Breathing in deep lungfuls of the crisp winter air to catch his breath, Somnus felt himself settle. His wings folded in and rested against quivering golden flesh, the momentary burst of speed enough to wind him but not exhaust, and within seconds his pulse had settled and his breathing had slowed. His heart, however, continued to race, for there was rarely a time when he was in Eulalie’s presence that it did not.
Verdant eyes remained rooted upon his wife’s moving body, watching with a rueful grin as she did not stop, undaunted by the difficult terrain beneath their very hooves. Oh, there was a feeling of concern for her, a gentle thrum of worry that she might trip or sprain her fetlock. It was a foolish worry, of course. Eulalie was nothing but ferocity and grace, and he trusted that she would be fine.
Eulalie did not halt, instead crossing the ruined earth in great strides, but Somnus did not remain still. Instead he moved with her, the glittering emerald of his gaze rooted only upon her to watch and learn, to plan. As she loped around him, the sound of her hooves pounding against packed dirt and crushed, dead grass, he pivoted on his heel, turning towards the right to follow her. Closer and closer she circled, her golden tresses wild and free and a proclamation of her spirit so bright and earnest, so determined, but on the second pass around she made her move. Eulalie’s speed increased with a powerful stride and she skirted towards his exposed left flank, then pushed herself up onto her powerful haunches to kick out with her front hooves, rearing high into the air. It was impossible to miss the small quirk of her lips, the rueful grin that he knew oh so well.
Her hooves flashed like daggers, but Somnus knew that he was not in danger of such a wicked blade. Much like her last attack, Eulalie was holding back, doing her best to not strike to hurt. There might be some bruises and cuts at the end of it all, but as far as serious injuries went, there would not be any. None given on purpose, anyway.
The Dawn King did not move or shy away from her blow. Just as before he stood stalwart against it, stationary and bracing himself to take her weight onto himself so as not to be knocked off balance, allowing her hooves to come down hard upon his left flank and buffet against his hip and slip down his left side. It hurt in the same sense as before; a dull sort of radiating pain that spread from the initial points of impact. Perhaps they would bruise or welt, but they would draw no blood. He grit his teeth against her added weight, a soft ’oof!’ escaping his lips, but Somnus grit his teeth and shifted his hooves upon the dry earth, ears pinning back but for a single moment.
He had a plan.
Emerald eyes darted to try and catch his wife’s beautiful earthen eyes, grinning once more. Then, he acted, hoping the plan would work to his advantage. Turning towards her to hopefully catch her exposed chest before all four hooves were once more upon the ground, Somnus stepped into her space, hoping to crowd and knock her off balance with a good shoulder shove. He tucked his left wing close, the wing joint upon his shoulder raised only slightly to try and add a bit more force to his shove, and he gave a grunt of effort. Bracing himself, he heaved his body to the left, hoping that Eulalie would not move out of the way in time to avoid the move all together.
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Summary: Once more, Somnus did not try and move away from Eulalie’s attack. Instead he leaned into it hoping to use her precarious position to his advantage, and aimed to shoulder shove her while she was rearing to knock her off balance.
The surprise she feels when Somnus does not try to avoid her attack at all leaves a strange sort of feeling in her chest. She knows she will hit him before she does, and feels very little joy in her accomplishment. He is making himself too easy a target, and she doesn't know why, but she knows if this were a real fight he couldn't get away with simply taking every hit that is thrown at him.
Is he doing it simply because he knows she will not hurt him seriously? Her brows knit closely together in consideration as the flat of her hooves strike against his hip, suddenly wondering if he isn't taking this very seriously. There is too much unrest in Novus right now for games, and although she would give her own life to protect her husband and her children, she wants to know that he can at least hold his own.
It's within the next moment that she realizes she is wrong.
Eulalie is too distracted by her thoughts to see the shift in Somnus' weight, almost misses the moment the grin flashes across his lips. She is part way to the ground, back legs splayed to hold her upright weight but she quickly attempts to rebalance herself; knowing what is coming even as his shoulder butts up against the space between her chest and left shoulder.
The boned protrusion of his wings pushes against some tendon or nerve there, and needles spread down the length of her left leg as though she'd laid upon it for too long. Somnus' momentum throws her, half-rear and all, backwards. For seconds that seem to stretch into minutes in Eulalie's mind, she rocks haphazardly in the air, her body threatening to fall to the hard packed earth below.
Her front hooves swing almost desperately, as if grasping at air, as though she could grab it and right herself. By some miracle the ivory woman's weight shifts frontward and her hooves come crashing down to earth. She thinks she's safe until her left gives, still buzzing and tingling, and causes her to stumble. "Woah," the exclamation leaves her lips without thought as she practically falls against Somnus.
Then, she begins to laugh. The sound is clear is bright as the sun and the sky above them. "Sorry, sorry," Eulalie apologizes when she catches her breath and manages to push herself upright, in case he'd had to catch her weight. Eulalie feels better after it all, about her husband's capabilities, and the slightly awkward way she stands on her left leg proves it, though the numbness is fading slowly. Nothing compares, however, to the feeling of standing so closely to Somnus.
Her earth brown eyes gleam as she looks at him. "I can't help but fall when I'm with you, I guess," the words are paired with a curling, playful smile, though adrenaline still pumps through Eulalie's veins and she's not quite ready to stand still yet. She trots a few steps away, testing her leg, and turns to look back at Somnus over her shoulder. "What do you say we find somewhere private on our way home..?" Her gaze sparkles suggestively—she could think of many more things to do when she's with him, too.
Summary: Eulalie is distracted when Somnus makes his move to push her off balance. The bones of his shoulder/wing hit just between her chest and left shoulder, on a nerve, which makes her left leg go somewhat numb. Because she was unable to move in time, the shove forces her backwards and she sways in the air for a bit, worried she might fall, before righting herself. When she lands, she stumbles on her left leg and toward Somnus.
Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)
FIRST POST (intro)
I really love the background you give to this post, from their marriage to them traveling to the Steppe together to his contemplating their recent union. I feel like Somnus is slightly distracted going into the battle, but I’m anticipating it being all the more fun because of it c; Really a nice intro post that sets both the scene and, perhaps more importantly, the mood.
SECOND POST
Defensive: Somnus is taking it like a man, I’m proud. c; No true block used, I like the amount of detail you put into his response to her attack, as well as his actually standing there and letting her beat on hi
Offensive: I love this attack, the way it’s both playful and tactical. It’s not something I’ve seen really, so I appreciate you giving me something new to read!
Mechanics: The “Yes.” then the “No.” in the first paragraph confuse me, like you’re saying he both has and hasn’t seen war. I also feel like there’s a lot of overt description in this post that detracts from the battle, but otherwise a pleasant read and a nice reflection on Somnus’ character!
Notes: I love the theme of his understanding the physical qualities of war and fighting, really plays true to his scholarly character! And, of course, the continual mention of love has me swooning for them.
THIRD POST
Defensive: No true block used, again taking it like a champ haha. Since it’s a light attack and he knows it’s a light attack, I really appreciate you not using any blocks, as strange as that sounds. Again his reaction to the blow is fitting, and I like that he had been following her instead of just waiting for another strike.
Offensive: This attack feels a little rushed, but I suppose Somnus’ window of time was only so long as well, so it’s fitting. I love that he’s literally shoving at her to knock her off balance, again a unique (if simple) approach compared to what I normally read.
Mechanics: Some frequent tense changes that were actually slightly distracting, but nothing too glaring!
Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)
FIRST POST
Defensive: N/A.
Offensive: I love the way she strikes and evades, it really reminds me of a tactician (which she is!) I feel a little confused about where she’s running at first (wasn’t she by his side? there’s no indication that she was running away then back, or around him, etc), but overall a nice intro attack designed to test Somnus’ mettle, like she intends!
Mechanics: A few typos early on (“might taken him from her,”), but I really appreciate that you’re continuing from the scene and mood that Somnus has set in his post, as always their posts are flowing very well together!
Notes: “She thinks her adoration for him will always make her feel like a newlywed, because she can only fall in love with him more and more, again and again, each day.” Ummm hello this romance in a battle is everything, I love it so much.
SECOND POST
Defensive: No true block used. I love the way she calculates it, how she sees his teeth but still won’t risk injuring him to avoid the bite. Her reaction makes it feel like a love nip and I’m perfectly okay with that (especially since I read ahead and know how this ends, it feels almost like foreshadowing and I’m loving that!)
Offensive: Again her calculation is a fun read and I think it plays really true to her character and rank. And the way you describe her circling him literally has me hanging onto every word, hungry for more. She’s still playing it safe, as is he, and I’m appreciating the consistency in your writing and Eulalie's
Mechanics: Again a few easily overlooked typos (“something is happen that she…” etc), but a really smooth post to read.
Notes: The playfulness from the end of her first post and the guilt at the beginning of this post don’t quite match up to me - but otherwise still a really fun thread to read!
THIRD POST
Defensive: No true block used. Like I said above with Sparrow, I really like that neither character used a block because both character’s are taking it easy on each other. It’s given this battle a light and playful feel that I’m truly enjoying. Her response and reaction to his shove is appropriate I feel, and I like the way it leads into her feeling off balanced and flirting. c;
Offensive: No attacks left, I like the way you played it that she wouldn’t have continued an attack, anyway. Had I not known you only had so many attacks to use, this would have seemed a fitting end already. c:
Mechanics: Easy to read, not going to pick apart mechanics because of how well this flowed as a standalone post, and in the context of the thread overall!
Notes: This ending. This ending. This thread has been everything. Eulalie’s consistency through it all has been really refreshing, and a true delight to read. <3
Closing Remarks: What a fun, light battle! Thank you both for a lovely read, I feel like this was a really fitting chapter in their story. <3
05-24-2019, 01:38 PM
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aimless [PM] Posts: 6 — Threads: 0 Signos: 1,580
Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)
FIRST POST (intro)
I like how you elaborate on Somnus’ thoughts about the spar, and his feelings toward Eulalie, seeing as they’re newly married. I did notice a few grammatical mistakes here and there, but nothing too distracting. Overall, this introductory post had me excited to see in which direction the battle would go after Somnus’ rumination on their relationship (which is understandably an unusual one to explore in a battle setting).
SECOND POST
Defensive: No true block used. His realization that Eulalie wasn’t going all out made me laugh.
Offensive: This was a unique attack, and I like how he finds a way to use his wings to his advantage without actually taking off. You mentioned earlier in this post that he would stay grounded and make no aerial attack; this was a creative way of not going in the air but still playing to his strengths. I do wonder if his extended wings would get in the way of staying so close to her, though.
Mechanics: I noticed a few places where you repeated words in such close proximity that it distracted me from the content, since I found myself needing to go back and make sure I didn’t read the same line twice.
THIRD POST
Defensive: No true block used, despite having one left. Considering his analytical ways and the fact he saw the attack coming, I’m not sure why he decided against dodging it, nor do you offer any explanation. A dodge could have given him more room to aid in building momentum for his following attack, as well, but on the other hand, I will say it is consistent with his last defense, lol
Offensive: A relatively simple attack, but it proves to be effective, and he doesn’t have many options available to him in such close proximity.
Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)
FIRST POST
Offensive: This attack confused me a bit in the actual technicalities of its motion. You say her hooves kicked up a dust cloud, but it is unclear if that is from contact with the ground from sliding, or if she kicks upwards to dislodge dirt from the ground. If the latter, I think it would be hard for her to kick out again with her hind legs immediately after. Some more detail would have been helpful for visualizing her attack, here. c’x
Mechanics: A few simple slip-ups, as in “..the things happening in Novus might taken him from her,” and I found a few places in which I found myself caught up in the wording you chose.
Notes: I like her coyness here, I think it fits her character and the situation well.
SECOND POST
Defensive: No true block used.
Offensive: A creative attack, and clearly crafted with the care Eulalie would have in mind for Somnus. Not too complex, but effective.
Mechanics: A few mistakes, that perhaps a once- or twice-over would have caught: “It is the only indication she needs that something is happen that she cannot see”, “the sting of where his teeth has bit down on her hip.”
Notes: You say: “as though he were her earth, her home, and she the sun being pulled in by his gravity,” but you have it backwards, haha
THIRD POST
Defensive: I like how you describe the physical reaction to his attack; the pins and needles feeling is a great detail.
Mechanics: Nothing stood out to me on this front.
Notes: “She knows she will hit him before she does, and feels very little joy in her accomplishment. He is making himself too easy a target, and she doesn't know why, but she knows if this were a real fight he couldn't get away with simply taking every hit that is thrown at him.” I love this—it is very realistic and I’m glad you chose to include this. c: I also think you did an excellent job of staying true to her character, and the dialogue at the end was a sweet reflection of their relationship dynamic.
All damage taken in the thread is still applicable and cannot be retconned!
Participate in a Battle or Challenge: +1 EXP to Somnus, +1 EXP to Eulalie
Win a Battle: +1 additional EXP to Somnus
Total: +2 EXP to Somnus, +1 EXP to Eulalie
Somnus’ and Eulalie's official experience has been updated to reflect these changes, so there's no need to post in the Experience Updates thread!
