The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!
She was trying to build her strength. Carefully this time. When she was in Elysium she had asked Kodarki to train her, and to no fault of his, it had gone… poorly. She had pushed herself too hard, and ultimately it had nearly been her demise. This time she went slowly. Once or twice a week she came down from the mountains for the day, using the time to either gather herbs for the infirmary in the temple or to wander Novus a little. She still requested someone take her up and down the mountain each time, wary of the steep cliffs and crumbling paths. She was careful to judge her health on the days she went down, fearful of not being able to get back up, even with the help of one of the monks.
She would always be exhausted the next morning and would spend the day resting or doing simple tasks within the infirmary. While there would be no fixing her state of being, slowly she began to feel strength build up in her shoulders, and hindquarters, just enough that she stumbled less coming up the steep trails to the temple, though she still heaved for air by the time they had gotten halfway up. Luvena had arisen early that morning, having made arrangements with one of the acolytes to take her as far as the foothills. She intended to head for the Amare Creek, wanting to gather some of the herbs and plants that thrived in its damp banks. The temple’s biggest downfall about mountain life was the lack of plants that could survive the harsh conditions. Among her list was willow and nettle, and a few other assorted plants if she could manage to bring them back. She came up along the Rapax river, staying a fair distance from the crumbling banks, knowing that with the way the currents rampaged, any hoofbeat could fall on sinking earth, sending her toppling into the cold winter currents.
Nevertheless, she followed the water, until it began to calm, turning from white water rapids to a soft burble until she came to the shallow sections of the creek, where the water moved so slowly that a thick layer of ice covered the surface. It wasn’t the best season to gather herbs of course, but it was possible. This time of year the willow bark was brittle and thus easy to crack off the trees with a sharp kick to the trunk. As soon as she reached one Picoro was content to clamber off her back into the canopy. The mountains did not appeal to the small tree-dwelling creature.
She turned, as she heard the snow crunch behind her. Squinting against the sun’s glare, she could see a familiar figure approaching. She had met the woman once before. A fleeting moment she could hardly remember, her first day in the dusk court. Overwhelmed by stone structures she had never seen before, so unlike the woven willow palace, she had grown up in. Israfel.
To say that she was slowly acclimating to the life in Terrastella, in Novus, again would have been a gross understatement. There was so much she had missed in her time away that learning everything almost felt like learning to walk, talk, or fly again. It simply felt… Odd. Off putting. Disconcerting.
Solaris spent her time cresting the skies between Novus and the tropical island getaway that she had escorted the twins to, relaying messages so that they could keep up a healthy correspondence while the two warlocks were away. Today, on this particularly cold and wintry afternoon, the Phoenix was roosting upon her usual spot nestled between Israfel’s gilded wings, eyes shut as she dozed. Her travel the evening prior had been exhausting, and the Regent had bid her companion to rest.
It was the Sun Daughter’s first trek away from Terrastella since her return late last season. To be honest, it was long overdue. ‘Duty’ and ‘obligation’ were an unpleasant taste on her tongue.
She followed the path of the river, content to simply amble without a destination in mind. There was no rush; Terrastella was not at war (that she knew of, at least), and nothing of imminent peril was happening around them. Her thoughts were heavy, yet not as cumbersome and dark as they were before her exchange with Elena. Their talk had helped, to some degree… Yet Israfel still found herself struggling to make sense of a lot of things. She hadn’t seen Charlie around. Maybe that was for the best.
The rushing waters of the Rapax eventually gave way to the calmer currents of the Amare Creek and her eyes narrowed, vermilion depths scanning the lazily drifting top player of thin ice as the river widened. The willows, their leaves and branches once full of life and greenery in the warmer months, lay barren, naked, and empty, napping until the first touches of spring.
She hated this place. It held nothing but terrible memories for her now.
Cresting a bit of a slope with the sun at her back, Israfel ducked between two sets of low branches, keeping her wings tucked close and using caution to not scrape Solaris off as the mighty Phoenix dozed. As she did so, she heard a sound like crunching snow and the faint cracking of wood, and her eyes narrowed as she peered ahead. A figure stood a few dozen yards or so ahead of her, dark and gaunt against the pristine white and lazy trek of the nearby creek. Recognition took a moment, but Isra realized she knew who this was; Luvena.
Their last meeting had been frank, a necessity more than anything. Other than shell-shocked about the entire city she found herself in, Luvena didn’t seem bad, and Israfel found she didn’t have an opinion of her one way or the other. They simply didn’t know each other well enough.
’Maybe you should change that,’ caressed Solaris’ voice in the back of her mind, and Isra had a feeling that the Phoenix had only been playing at napping during the trek. Rolling her eyes, the Sun Daughter focused on Luvena, taking note that she seemed just as thin and in need of a good meal as the first time they had met. Her vermilion eyes narrowed, glittering like a predator as she sized the other woman up, ambling even closer to lessen the distance between them.
“Luvena,” she stated with an arched brow, “I heard you moved.” This time she could swear she could feel Solaris roll her eyes. Hah. Revenge.
The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!
Sometimes my name sounds foreign to my ears. It was given to me so long ago it feels like a different lifetime. Mother used to tell me that it means beloved one. I always thought that our names should have been reversed. Adina, the delicate, even though she was anything but. And Luvena, the beloved one, whose own “beloved” destroyed her. Even in Elysium I hesitated to give my name. The first time, I had nearly given Thanatos a false one. I thought about it, reinventing myself, but that would make me an imposter, more of one than I already felt myself to be. Given time it started to feel right again, I even gave a few the full name. When I took my throne in Crucis I started using it again.
Now it feels strange again, sometimes it takes me a moment to even recognize it. It takes me a moment now. Once again I am struck by how powerful she seems. All muscle and strength, traits I had held for a brief and fleeting moment. This time she is accompanied, by some sort of large bird that I don’t recognize. Some sort of native to Novus I imagine.
Israfel’s eyes narrow, and I’m not sure if she is angry or simply observant. I nod gently in response. “To the mountains. It was not an easy decision…” I trail off. “Dusk is…” I’m hesitant on how to say it. How can I tell a stranger that this place is so much like home, that it hurts to walk among its people? That it casts pain into my heart strong enough to rival the pain that already plagues me. “To familiar.” I finally settle on the phrase, letting my head tip towards the earth ever so slightly. I thought I was strong enough to move on. But there are too many memories, and years of tragedy, to simply walk past them as if they no longer matter. Every once in awhile… I catch the scent of Liatris on the air, and even though I know I’m imagining it, I cannot stand it any better.
“I am well” I respond, lifting my head again. “Life in the temples is calm. Though the young boys keep us busy in the infirmaries” I laugh gently. “I’d rather like if winter could take its leave though. And yourself? How has Terrastella fared through the winter? I’m sure Elena has been busy with the hospital” I’m struck with shame for a moment. I never did say goodbye.
@Israfel
Hi apparently first-person lu is just kinda angsty i guess
Memories clung like stubborn ghosts to every stone street and ancient hallway that filled Terrastella. The Court, the swamp, the cliffs, the fields… Songs unsung of troubled souls, glances of a better life, a better time... She understood. Luvena did not need to explain any further what truly drove her away from Dusk, because Israfel understood without the need for it. It was a familiar feeling, an unsettled feeling, a paltry dance of seeming like you belonged on one day, and then felt ostracized like a stranger the next.
The Sun Daughter would be a liar to say the idea of stealing away into the night to never return hadn’t crossed her mind a time or two… And the odd thing was she wondered if she would even be missed. Her temporary hiatus with the twins had seemingly gone unnoticed, and Israfel wondered how long it would be until someone did notice her absence.
Her relations and bonds with the members of Novus were abysmal at best. Who could she even count as a real friend? Marisol? Were they friends? Save for a few instances of shared flirtations, they hardly saw one another… And knowing that the Dusk Queen stole into the bed of the Day King was no secret. Bored tongues waggled, after all.
Snapping back into the present, the Sun Daughter’s ears flicked forward to focus entirely on Luvena. The gangly woman was troubled, there was no doubt, but it was clear she was trying. Israfel envied her.
“All these lands in Novus and you picked Denocte,” the Regent muttered, her disapproval apparent, “A damn shame. Your talents are wasted there, Lu.” It was a high compliment for Luvena and a dirty insult for the Night Court, but she didn’t care who knew it. Israfel’s disgust towards the denizens of Denocte had never been a secret. “So long as you’re enjoying yourself, I guess I should be happy for you.”
A pale brow arched as she mulled over the following inquiries. “Terrastella is… Terrastella. It’s the same as it’s always been.” Rather dull and mundane, quiet, and the winters were still unrelenting. Already the Sun Daughter yearned for warmer weather, and more than often she felt herself called to the hot burning sands of Solterra. The idea of joining them permanently was more than just a little appealing… “I can’t say that I’ve seen much of Elena, save for a quick visit, but I can imagine she’s been busy.”
From there, Terrastella’s Regent grew quiet. Vermilion eyes scanned their surroundings, watching the frozen river slowly pass them by. She really did hate this place… It was the last time she had seen him, their evening of passion never quite forgotten. Brows furrowing, rose-kissed lips turned down into a severe frown and she sighed.
“... We don’t know each other very well, Lu, but I really need some advice. As someone who’s been there… How did you know it was time to move on?” Even if Luvena’s idea of ‘moving on’ was moving to the absolutely worst Court within Novus itself. Honestly, Denocte could use with at least one person in their midst with an ounce of sense.
The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!
I watch her ponder, and though I've no clue what thoughts are spinning inside her, I know all too well that feeling of being lost inside them, spinning a web of memories and longings, that only make you yearn for more. It's not a feeling I enjoy, and one I've been trying to keep myself out of. I watch as she pulls herself out of it, I wouldn't have noticed, except I've made that siwtch so frequently myself, that these days, I could never miss it.
"You should be" I replied gently. "I am more at peace now, than I have been in a long, long time. "
I certainly wasn't completely there yet. I still wondered about the fate of my children, and those who were left behind in Elysium, but at least I was somewhere now where I could look back at them as the past, and not be stuck in them at the present.
I nod gently. "If you see her, tell her I'm sorry I left without a word, and that she can have my herb stores I left in the hospital"
Her question surprised me. After all we'd only met once, and I'm sure I hadn't made a very lasting impression, in my city driven shock. "Oh good gods I didn't!" I laugh "I have never been so unsure of anything in my life. I just knew I couldn't handle it anymore. I kept..." I pause, mulling over how crazy I would sound if I let slip my thoughts. "I kept catching Liatris, my son on the wind, and he... he isn't here. He's long gone in some forgotten world, I couldn't do that anymore. Couldn't sit in the hospital be caught up in the past"
"You can't really know these things Isra, you just... you just feel them, and decide. I could lie to you and say Caligo called to me, but to be honest... I don't much care for your gods here, and they don't seem to care much for me either. I've spent too much time trying to figure out where I'm supposed to be to wait to know things" I finish sincerely. I rarely take my own advice but I mean every word of it. "I've already lasted for longer than I was supposed to, and I don't intend to waste what undoubtedly few years I have left"
@Israfel
Lull writing more than three sentences of dialogue? who would've thunk it.
There was profound wisdom in Luvena’s words, and Israfel swallowed up her damnable pride and listened.
Nearly everything that Luvena divulged hit a little too close to home and the Sun Daughter shifted in her stance, clearly uncomfortable with how to receive such sage advice. She frowned, rose-kissed lips tugged minutely downwards as vermilion eyes stared outwards without truly seeing. An ear flicked back for a moment, listening to the vague sound of a woodland creature skulking around a few paces away from them. It was a good distraction, if but for a time.
Luvena spoke of life and occupation, of desire and children. The Regent pondered her own daughter. It had been literal seasons since she had seen Charlie last, or even heard from her. Her daughter could be dead and rotting in the ground for all she knew and Israfel would simply be none the wiser. Was it the thought of her very own daughter holding her back, like how the memory of Him kept drawing her back to this very place?
The Regent inhaled sharply, ears forward and erect, gnashing her teeth in displeasure. This wasn’t an easy conversation to have or to listen to, but as her narrowed eyes of burning red focused back more on Luvena, thin, gangly, sickly Luvena, she felt her sudden ire slowly dim.
There was something peaceful and wise about the narrow woman before her, with her frail bones and body so weak yet a mind so profoundly strong.
Suddenly Israfel grinned sardonically and shook her head sadly. “I’ve felt very little since I was reborn,” she admitted with a rough timbre, and the words scathed her tongue with more ferocity than her very own flames ever could, “I thought Novus would hold purpose for me… And I suppose that it did, for awhile, at least.” She paused, and a thoughtful frown warped the melancholic grin from her lips.
“I don’t give two shits about Novus’ gods either, but I guess I’m bias.” Being the daughter of a far superior God made it hard for her to have much affection for any others, especially the rag-tag bunch that presided over Novus.
Not wanting to linger on such a sentiment, no matter how shared, the Sun Daughter cleared her throat and went on. She rolled a shoulder, trying to appear nonchalant despite feeling anything but. “I feel as though I’ve failed as a soldier, a mother. I feel as though I’m clinging to whatever my life used to be, and that includes Charlie, and… I haven’t seen her in months. I wonder if I should just let her go.” Alive or dead, Israfel truly doubted that her daughter wanted much to do with her anymore. Maybe it was time to stop holding on and simply let go.“Staying in Terrastella feels like a death sentence. I… I think I should move on. At least for a little while.”
But where would she go? And could she truly leave?
Israfel had lived in and served Terrastella since before nearly every other soul there. It was her home... But could a place truly be a ‘home’ if it lacked both heart and soul? What could make a ‘home’?
Tilting her head quizzically, the Regent’s shoulders seemed to slump a little as the tension within her seeped away. Her shoulders relaxed, posture loosening, and she sighed, world weary and haggard. Maybe she didn’t need to take this journey alone. Maybe, with a friend, the first few terrifying steps wouldn’t be so daunting. When her eyes once more met Luvena’s, the ruby red depths were clear for the first time in months.
“... May I escort you back to Denocte, Lu? I think I’m due for a vacation.”
The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!
I listen while |I set back to work, stripping bark from where I had started breaking it off the tree. Though I sometimes felt bad, for taking some of the life from them, I took comfort in knowing they would bring some back to those who needed it. Besides, I had brought a much worse fate upon willow trees before. Those ones weren't left standing. Hundreds of years of growth, burned to the ground in an instant. I moved on to the nettle.
My ears pricked as she mentioned someone named Charlie. I'd heard that the fiery woman had a daughter, though I didn't know much of it. I'd kept out of the way of most of the courts proceedings and gossip really. "That's What I thought too... about purpose, for a long time" I replied gently. "I think... I'm starting to realize that I just have to make my own these days. I miss the old days sometimes though, where it just seemed to fall into my grasp"
I moved closer to it, and cautiously reached out to offer a comforting touch, not sure how it would be received. I srafel seemed a proud woman, and I didn't want to insult her somehow. I didn't offer anything though in response, I knew well enough that when it came to your children... there were no words of comfort. I moved back to the willow. "Picoro" I called gently, stretching my neck out to take back the sloth.
"Of course!" I smiled, the words brighter then I had anticipated. I was glad for the company, knowing it was always a long slow trip back. "Be prepared for a slow walk though, and at least carry some of this nettle" I pushed a pile towards her, before starting to walk off back towards Denocte, waiting for the woman to follow. " I think you'll like it more than you expect. After all, fire burns brightest at night"
