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Judged  - Crazy Diamonds

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Played by Offline Rae [PM] Posts: 291 — Threads: 40
Signos: 0
Night Court Soldier
Male [He/Him/His] // 12 [Year 493 Spring] // 15.3 hh // Hth: 27 — Atk: 33 — Exp: 72 // Active Magic: Telepathy // Bonded: N/A
#1

possible TW: some self-harm

Fight Type: Battle
Prize: Exp
Contact Made: yus

Character #1: @Eik
Bonded: no
Magic: nope
Armor: naw
Weapons: never (and would never use one on sera!!)

Character #2: @Seraphina
Bonded: No
Magic: No
Armor: No
Weapons: No


In his year in Novus, Eik had let himself become weak, let the desert whittle away at him. He had let his curiosity turn him soft- It had felt so freeing to be naive, to feel a child once more, learning about this new world and the way it worked. He had begun to think that he did not have to fight here, in this place fat with peace. In this place grotesque with vanity, dripping in gold and steel. 

How abruptly that had changed. 

The Davke attack was something like an awakening. As though all his life before that moment was spent at the edge of a dream. This life, All Those Years, passed with eyes half-closed. He is awake now, and there is a clarity to the world that was lacking just a few weeks ago.

He had let Hope take root in him, 

and it had been devoured once more.

This damn wheel keeps turning.

In the weeks that followed the attack, in the countless hours spent moving the dead and sending them to their god (he helped to prepare but never watched the ceremonies; the smell of burning flesh still has the power to unravel him, even after all these years), throughout it all,

the 
spiraling 
slowly
started again. 

[!!! TW !!!]

The healers did not understand how the knife wound on his left shoulder was not healing as fast as the others- he did not tell them, possibly did not even realize, that he kept prodding at it with his newfound telepathy. He kept moving an invisible finger back and forth across the sliced skin, slowly exploring the length and depth of it. He was not so violent as to tear it further, but it never quite closed. It did not help that he never accepted the healing herbs and tonics the medics kept pressing on him. Healing supplies were in short supply, best save them for those on death's doorstep.

[end TW]

But we return from our wandering thoughts to here and now. Eik clears his scattered mind as he enters the arena of sand. He cannot remember (an odd thing for him, to not remember- he wishes he could do it more) whose idea this was. Perhaps it was one of those things that happens without words. It does not matter. He silently awaits his queen's first move, breath calm and collected, attention in razor sharp focus. 

His self retreats until there is no joy, no sadness... and then, not even anger. 

He becomes a weapon.



Summary: There is some reflection on life over the past two weeks since the davke attack, then Eik enters the Day Court arena (I hope its okay that I'm using that as the setting?) and waits for sera to make her first move. I left it open as to whether she's already there or not. <3 He is mostly healed from his wounds from the Davke attack but slightly favors his left shoulder.

Attack Used:
Attack(s) Left:
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used:

Response Deadline: 4/5
Tags: @Seraphina, @kay, @sid, @inkbone, @Lauren, @Sparrow, @Roo, @Arahvir






Time makes fools of us all





Played by Offline Jeanne [PM] Posts: 330 — Threads: 61
Signos: 3,855
Day Court Outcast
Female [She/Her/Hers] // Immortal [Year 498 Spring] // 16 hh // Hth: 17 — Atk: 23 — Exp: 72 // Active Magic: Greater Telekinesis // Bonded: Ereshkigal (Demonic Vulture)
#2

☼ s e r a p h i n a ☼

and I see fire
blood in the breeze


She wanted to be angry.

She wanted to be furious. She had spent the days following the attack in a state of bitter, repressed frustration; there was no time for anger, she told herself. There was no time to let herself get caught up in silly, girlish feelings. What did rage ever do for a queen but muddle her instincts and push her to recklessness? Seraphina had been foolish, or so she told herself. She had been foolish in trusting Avdotya despite the prickling sensation that told her the snake was planning something. She had been foolish in trusting at all.

Perhaps worst was the knowledge that she hadn’t even been the one to pay for her foolish indecision and naivete. The silver queen survived with only minor injuries, shallow scrapes and gashes that would heal up quickly. It wasn’t fair that she escaped so unscathed when so many of her innocents lay in a smoldering pile in the central courtyard, slowly burning away to ashes. It wasn’t fair that she had escaped unscathed when her people lay in makeshift sickbays set up around the city, struggling to cling to life; they hadn’t the healers or supplies to care for them. So many slipped away with each passing day.

None of this was fair. So few of them had been compliant in Zolin’s schemes, and so many of them had been made to suffer for them, to bear the weight of sins that were not their own.

She wanted to be angry.

She wanted to be angry, but she knew that her anger was useless; it would do nothing to bring back the dead or rebuild the capitol or get her people the supplies they needed to survive. She wanted to be angry, but she had nowhere to put it all; she could not strike the Davke now, and she could do nothing to Night for their assault on Bexley Briar. She wanted to be angry like she had never wanted anything before, but she quelled the flickering embers that sought to leap to flames inside of her chest and feigned a strength that she was not sure she still possessed. She pushed the flicker away, like she always did, and she told herself that it was for the best as she drifted among foreign diplomats and took mercy wherever it was offered, brought to her knees in the most humiliating manner she had ever experienced. So much, she thought, for the Sun Queen, and so much for the Queen of Solterra. She was no longer sure that she was a queen at all.

The smell of ashes still clung to her skin as she strode into the Solterran arena, hot sunlight reflecting off the metallic silver of her already-sweaty sides. As she did, she regarded the man who was to be her opponent - a man she trusted as much as she trusted herself, even among such discord and betrayal. In a world that seemed to be falling apart around her, Eik remained one of the few forces in her life that did not feel as though he would crumble like sand beneath her hooves. Her one remaining advisor was at least as shaken as she over the Davke attack, perhaps even more so, and she didn’t know what to tell him. Seraphina wasn’t even sure that there was anything to say, and, if there was, she wasn’t sure that she would have the words to say it. (In the aftermath of such destruction, she had felt much like she had when they lost Maxence. Now, of all times, she needed to have direction, but she felt completely and utterly lost, and she didn’t even know how to explain it.) She wanted to say something to fix things, but, for all the supposed eloquence that had brought her into the highest echelons of Solterran society, Seraphina could not piece together what she wanted to say.

She eyed him closely, scanning his body for wounds and scrapes; there was an ugly gash on his shoulder that looked as though it wasn’t healing properly, and it was enough to provoke a slight frown from the mare. It almost appeared irritated, as though he wasn’t taking care of it. (She made a mental note to avoid his shoulder. She didn’t want to make it any worse.) Seraphina dipped her head, then, and met his gaze with her mismatched eyes, expression almost thoughtful. He had changed, or returned to something that he was before in some way that she could not quite understand; she was not sure if he was moving forwards or backwards, now, and she supposed that she could say the same for herself. The attack had changed them and shaken everything they knew to its foundation. How could any of them have escaped unscathed?

“Ready?” She asked, as more of a forewarning than a question; leaving no time for response, she sprung into movement, hooves slamming against the sandstone floor of the arena with a harsh clatter and a spray of sand.

Anger dissipated; the flicker was extinguished. Her throat burned, and her blood hummed. The world slipped away, as it always did, and it left behind only the fight ahead of her.

She rushed towards him in a fluid cascade of sleek silver, braided hair whipping against the sides of her neck with a rhythmic thump. There was little space to close between them, so she made no move to hide her strategy, as she had in battles past. Seraphina was a reactionary creature by nature; she was never sure how to start a fight. Nevertheless, limber muscles tensed beneath her as she reached his side, shifting all of her weight onto her hindquarters.

In a fluid motion, she skidded to a halt in front of him, rising up onto her hind legs and lashing out at his chest with sharp, ebony hooves. She did not, however, aim to do her compatriot too much damage, in such a troubled time; a bit of bruising and a scratch was, at the worst, her only intention.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


notes | poor eik D: also sorry I didn't mean for this to get so long. at all. x.x I'm beginning to wonder if I'm capable of short sera posts.




@






Summary: Sera contemplates how terrible life is for far too long before she gets to the point. She takes a look at Eik, and then she rushes him; she rears up and attempts to whack him across the chest with her hooves.

Attack Used: 1
Attack(s) Left: 1
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: n/a

Response Deadline: 5/9
Tags: @Eik, @kay, @sid, @inkbone, @Lauren, @Sparrow, @Roo, @Arahvir







I'M IN A ROOM MADE OUT OF MIRRORS
and there's no way to escape the violence of a girl against herself


please tag Sera! contact is encouraged, short of violence








Played by Offline Rae [PM] Posts: 291 — Threads: 40
Signos: 0
Night Court Soldier
Male [He/Him/His] // 12 [Year 493 Spring] // 15.3 hh // Hth: 27 — Atk: 33 — Exp: 72 // Active Magic: Telepathy // Bonded: N/A
#3



Eik looks over his queen as she does him, searching for weaknesses not to exploit but to avoid. Perhaps it is foolish to be doing this now, when Davke attack was not so long ago, but there is a certain sort of grace to be found in the sweat and the pain, a certain clarity that you cannot achieve only by sitting around thinking. Gods, he's done enough thinking for one lifetime.

'Ready?' she asks, and Eik would not answer even if she gave him the time to. Of course he is ready.

She springs forward quickly, gracefully. He lets himself forget all the ways he has not been enough of something. In the dark days, he had not been cruel enough to enjoy the kill- he was ever the disappointment to his father. Most recently he has not been cautious enough, nor wise enough, nor strong enough to make the slightest difference in the way events have unfolded. He leaves these thoughts behind now,

(He lets himself forget the questions he has no answers to, like what good are you?)

and surrenders to the flow of the fight.

When she halts, he lunges forward and to the left, and as she strikes out he takes the blow on his right shoulder instead of his chest. A more defensive maneuver would have been wise, but in all honesty he isn't very concerned with defending himself. In fact some part of him wants to be the punching bag.

In a true fight he would then take another stride forward to maneuver himself for a solid kick at Sera's stomach or foreleg, but this is no true fight and he does not want to risk seriously injuring her. Before the sting of her blow can settle in, he rears up and drives his shoulder, with the full force of his body behind it, to his right. His goal is to hit her side before or slightly after she lands from her attack, throwing her off balance or even knocking the breath from her. He attacks with the same shoulder she had just struck, and he grits his teeth as the bruise is pushed deeper into the muscle [ooc: assuming his blow lands]. With the pain comes a feeling akin to joy, but ... no, if anything it is more like freedom. Freedom from the cage of his mind, the bell jar, the bee hive, whatever the metaphor is.

As he lands he snaps his teeth near her flesh in a way that is playful, almost teasing. He may not enjoy killing, but he has always loved this adrenaline-laced dance.


ooc: <3 sorry I think my post miiight be a day late? When I started my reply I realized how much I hate battle posts lol, so it was already slow going and then on Friday my laptop broke ;_;



Summary: Eik moves forward and to the left, taking Sera's attack on his right shoulder. He uses this same shoulder to try and body slam her side.

Attack Used: 1
Attack(s) Left: 1
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: N/A

Response Deadline: 4/12 (... or whenever <3)
Tags: @Seraphina, @kay, @sid, @inkbone, @Lauren, @Sparrow, @Roo, @Arahvir






Time makes fools of us all





Played by Offline Jeanne [PM] Posts: 330 — Threads: 61
Signos: 3,855
Day Court Outcast
Female [She/Her/Hers] // Immortal [Year 498 Spring] // 16 hh // Hth: 17 — Atk: 23 — Exp: 72 // Active Magic: Greater Telekinesis // Bonded: Ereshkigal (Demonic Vulture)
#4

☼ s e r a p h i n a ☼

and I see fire
blood in the breeze


He shifted before her hooves could make impact, and she found herself assailing his shoulder in the place of his chest. She winced, inadvertently and near-imperceptibly, when she made contact; it went against her nature to take any joy from the vicious dance of combat, least of all in such a painful time, and least of all against a friend. (She didn’t notice that she thought of him as one, at the time, but it would come back to haunt her later. It was in Seraphina’s nature to systematically strip attachment away and burn it to the ground, because attachment would always be a vulnerability, or so she had always been told. She didn’t want to, though. Even with the wound of Avdotya’s betrayal fresh and stinging, Seraphina wanted to have faith in her people.) She consoled herself in the knowledge that she had hit him on the right shoulder, rather than the left. Bruises and scratches were a near-inevitable product of any spar. It would only have been a problem, she told herself, if she had hit an injury. This much she was already prepared for.

(Somehow, in the wake of so much death and violence, even bruising seemed like an ugly and sickening violation, and it made her head spin. She thought of all the Davke she killed in the attack, and she thought of the stragglers that she systematically hunted and slaughtered afterwards, the brave few that didn’t flee the city with the rest. She didn’t regret killing them. She even thought that it was necessary.)

(She found no pleasure in the crunch of her hooves against their breaking bones, however. She found no pleasure in the hot, sticky coat of blood that clung to her fur like an ugly, ugly mantle. She had never felt like that before; it had never mattered before. Why did it matter now?)

Before her hooves had even hit the ground, Eik had risen up, slamming the shoulder that she had just hit into her chest and throwing her off balance; she stumbled back, a throbbing pain blossoming out from the point of impact, and struggled to make sure that she landed evenly. (She didn’t want to sprain another ankle in a spar.) As her hooves hit the ground, Eik snapped out at her neck in a manner that was almost playful. Her ears flattened against her skull, and she whipped her head forward, snapping back at him with a hint of wolfish mischief in turn. It still didn’t feel safe to breathe, she thought, and that was probably what Avdotya intended. However, some small, frightened part of her knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that, if she let this attack render her to something skittish and passive and traumatized into submission, she would fail her people again.

The bruise bled across her chest.

She snapped forward, then, lunging at him; it seemed at first that she intended to go for his throat, but, at the last moment, she swerved, aiming instead to grab his mane in her jaws and throw him off balance. If she managed to knock him unsteady, she would use the time it bought her to dart alongside him, halting only when she felt satisfied to dig her teeth into his flank.



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


notes | no worries, lovely <3




@






Summary: Sera takes his shoulder right to the chest and is knocked off balance momentarily; she's bruised, but she manages to avoid hurting an ankle, unlike her last spar. She tries to grab his mane and pull him off balance, and use the time that gives her to move to his side and bite his flank. She also angsts a lot.

Attack Used: 2
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: n/a

Response Deadline: 5/14 or whenever
Tags: @Eik, @kay, @sid, @inkbone, @Lauren, @Sparrow, @Roo, @Arahvir







I'M IN A ROOM MADE OUT OF MIRRORS
and there's no way to escape the violence of a girl against herself


please tag Sera! contact is encouraged, short of violence








Played by Offline Rae [PM] Posts: 291 — Threads: 40
Signos: 0
Night Court Soldier
Male [He/Him/His] // 12 [Year 493 Spring] // 15.3 hh // Hth: 27 — Atk: 33 — Exp: 72 // Active Magic: Telepathy // Bonded: N/A
#5



He came here with anger and guilt heavy on his shoulders, the invisible burden they all felt but could not express in words. He knows it weighs especially on Seraphina- how could it not? She is a queen, in a way that transcends a title or a crown. But we digress. He came here with back bent from the weight he carried. And when their spar began, he put aside his dark thoughts. He became solid and strong and sharp as the edge of a blade. Unfeeling as a weapon.

There is one blow, then another, then the mirrored clack! of teeth... and from the flat calm something like grace slowly emerges.

(A dark smile spreads across his chest, gleaming like an oil spill from one wounded shoulder to another. Unseen to the outside world it shows its sharp teeth with a hiss- What was that you said once? we can't all be masochists?)

Grace or something like it... he knows, in this moment, this is the closest to the gods he'll ever be.

As she lunges for his jugular he instinctively draws his head down and to the side- better a scar on his cheek than a slit throat. He trusts she wouldn't kill him (they practically tiptoe around each other) but what is the point of a spar if you don't step through the motions? To his surprise, she grabs at his mane instead and pulls. Instead of resisting he flows into her, stepping forward to keep his balance as she draws down and away, his mane clenched in her jaws. When it seems he has given in to her, he rears up forcefully and violently tugs his head away from her. The intent is to slip out of her grasp, although he may not necessarily be successful. If she keeps hold of his mane, she may have to whip her head around with the force of his tug- or perhaps sink into her hindquarters to use the weight of her body to resist his pull.

Regardless of whether her teeth are still latched to his neck or not, having reared up he then lashes out with his hooves, similarly to her first attack. He aims for her neck- a large enough target that she would be hard-pressed to completely avoid the blow, but a direct hit would not do critical damage. Bruises are what we're going for, and even then he withholds from striking with full force.

When he lands he shuffles his feet in the boxer's dance, ready to react. The requirements of the spar have been fulfilled, but he feels as though they are just beginning. Hit me again, his body begs.

He almost smiles.




Summary: Eik moves his head to protect his jugular, and Seraphina bites his mane. He steps forward when Seraphina tugs on his neck, then suddenly rears and jerks his head away in attempt to dislodge her teeth. He then uses his position to strike out with her hooves, aiming for her neck. When he lands he shuffles his feet, ready for more (... but let it be known I am not xD)

Attack Used: 2
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 1 (I guess??)
Block(s) Left: 0
Item(s) Used: N/A

Response Deadline: 4/18 (... or whenever <3)
Tags: @Seraphina, @kay, @sid, @inkbone, @Lauren, @Sparrow, @Roo, @Arahvir






Time makes fools of us all





Played by Offline Jeanne [PM] Posts: 330 — Threads: 61
Signos: 3,855
Day Court Outcast
Female [She/Her/Hers] // Immortal [Year 498 Spring] // 16 hh // Hth: 17 — Atk: 23 — Exp: 72 // Active Magic: Greater Telekinesis // Bonded: Ereshkigal (Demonic Vulture)
#6

☼ s e r a p h i n a ☼

and I see fire
blood in the breeze


Their dance cycled to an end, and she found herself with no more answers than she had when they started. She didn’t think that she’d come to the arena looking for them, though. What answers had she ever found in bruises and blood and broken bones? None worth the search, she thought. This fight felt like picking at a scab, or pinching yourself to try and alleviate the pain somewhere else by forcing some other part of yourself to bear it. It never worked, of course. The moment that you stopped pinching, it came flooding in again, fresh and burning.

As he jerked out of her grasp, she let him go easily, shifting back to put just a bit of space between them before his hooves could come down on her neck. She shifted, as best she could, so that the collared portion of her neck bore the brunt of the attack, though not the entirety; metallic clangs rang out as his assault connected with cold steel, interspaced by the dull thud of hoof against flesh. The scratches that the collar bore were, after all, not entirely accidental – Solterran steel was strong, and, though it didn’t cover much of her neck, it was enough to alleviate some of the damage. She felt bruises stretch out beneath her skin in a dull, throbbing pain. It was only ever sharp on the moment of impact.

She lurched back, then, before he could make another move. This dance was over. He wanted more, but she wouldn’t give it to him – not now, and not like this. He wanted to be hurt. She wondered if it was the guilt. She knew that guilt was a hungry, hungry animal, and she wondered if it urged him on, promised him that it would go away if he just hurt enough. She hadn’t noticed it at first, but, through that contemplation and curiosity, there was some sadness to Eik that she couldn’t quite place, some old pain that he still wore like a mantle. He was the only person in this gods-forsaken land that she trusted unconditionally, and she hadn’t even noticed the hurt until the attack seemed to lay it bare all over again. So much, then, for the perceptive queen - Seraphina wouldn’t hurt him any more than she had already. He didn’t deserve to be hurt, even if the hurt was nothing more substantial than bruises and scrapes.

None of them deserved to be hurt.

She stepped back, then, receding like waves during the tide. Her eyes lingered on his frame, hovering over the gash on his shoulder for what felt like a very long time before they settled on his eyes.

“We will get through this,” She said. Her voice wavered, but it was a promise.



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


notes | aaaand concluding




@






Summary: Sera's grip on Eik is dislodged easily. She takes part of his attack, but positions herself in a way that allows her to block the brunt of it with her collar. She then decides that this isn't helping anything and backs off.

Attack Used: 2
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 1
Block(s) Left: 0
Item(s) Used: n/a

Response Deadline: ??? I'm not sure if this concludes the spar or if you have another post, since Sera had the first move.

Tags: @Eik, @kay, @sid, @inkbone, @Lauren, @Sparrow, @Roo, @Arahvir







I'M IN A ROOM MADE OUT OF MIRRORS
and there's no way to escape the violence of a girl against herself


please tag Sera! contact is encouraged, short of violence








Played by Offline Rae [PM] Posts: 291 — Threads: 40
Signos: 0
Night Court Soldier
Male [He/Him/His] // 12 [Year 493 Spring] // 15.3 hh // Hth: 27 — Atk: 33 — Exp: 72 // Active Magic: Telepathy // Bonded: N/A
#7



("there is a way not to be broken

that takes brokenness to find it"
)

So we break 
ourselves body and soul,
in search of a way to not be broken.

Eik doesn't know any other way, not anymore.

But he does not need to hurt others, certainly not his queen. His friend. So the dance is over, when it has just barely begun. He lets go of whatever it was he was grasping at. The breath slows and his clarity fades and all that remains then is the physical throbbing of each shoulder, the fresh bruise on one side and the old wound on the other.  

He feels as though he is shrinking beneath her scrutiny, like an insect under a microscope, and he looks away uncomfortably. His eyes return only when he feels her gaze seeking his. "We will make it through this," she says, and he quietly tries to steel himself in her words. He does not believe in the supervision of the gods nor the generosity of time but he wants to believe in her. He tries to.

There has got to be some way to heal without breaking first. There has got to be something to believe in that is not violence. Tentatively he reaches forward to brush his muzzle feather-light across her chest, and then to her neck near her collar, gently burrowing beneath the silver rope of her braids to find the warm flesh beneath. His touch is a swift and silent apology, and a promise of his own. 


He draws away and nods, brief and silent. And he leaves once more to wherever it is he goes.


Ah sudden feelings <3
@Seraphina, @kay, @sid, @inkbone, @Lauren, @Sparrow, @Roo, @Arahvir





Time makes fools of us all





Played by [PM] Posts: N/A — Threads:
Lauren
Guest
#8

EIK vs SERAPHINA


@EikTotal: 55/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity 18/30, Realism: 15/25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity 7/15, Realism 7/15
WRITING: Creativity 3/5, Realism 3/5, Mechanics 2/5

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

  • FIRST POST (intro)
    • Gives a little insight to Eik’s mentality. Good description/lead up to explain him favoring an old wound. Jumping in between tenses confused me a little but nothing too bad

  • SECOND POST
    • Defensive: Good job matching Sera’s backed off attacks. Receiving appropriate injury.
    • Offensive: You probably could have written your attack in a way that didn’t require an OOC note. Other than I thought it was a creative attack. It would be hard to maneuver in that tight of a space. On the flip side, would a horse really use his freshly wounded shoulder in his next attack?
    • Mechanics: A few grammatical errors, but it was clearly intentional as part of your writing. (As in your intro as well.) I’d like a little more flow.

  • THIRD POST
    • Defensive: (block) I don’t know if I’d count this as a block or not. He didn’t really block her grabbing his mane, and you didn’t even reference the part about her going for his flank. I really needed something more clear here.
    • Offensive: I see what you’re doing with trying to provide options for Sera’s reaction, but I think by listing the options it comes off less helpful and more powerplaying. (Not that you did! But be careful… )
    • Mechanics: “But we digress” seems In appropriate wording, since there wasn’t a lot to digress from? Just a bit awkward there in general. Your parenthetical aside made no sense to me, especially since you didn’t do anything with this imagery/voice in your earlier posts.
    • Notes: I’m confused about where Sera is in relation to EIK, and therefore where his attack is going. I thought that Sera going on to bite his flank meant that her neck would be out of range of his hooves. This all being said the emotion at the end felt good to read and brought me back into the fight.







@SeraphinaTotal: 74/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity 23/30, Realism: 19/25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity 10/15, Realism 10/15
WRITING: Creativity 5/5, Realism 4/5, Mechanics 3/5

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

  • FIRST POST
    • Offensive: I like how clearly wrote this attack, and how her emotion causes her to strike lighter than she might have if she acted on blind anger.
    • Mechanics:  Nothing of note.
    • Notes: Holy smokes that was long! That being said, I didn’t get lost in it the flow is good and you gave really good background and how Sera feels As well as what has brought her to this point. Seeing as how clueless I am to much that happens at Novus, this was a great recap!

  • SECOND POST
    • Defensive: I’m not sure I understand Sera taking the damage on her chest instead of her side? Eik clearly stated that he was aiming for the side of her body.
    • Offensive: This seems like two attacks in one (grab mean, bites flank) so avoid that in the future.
    • Mechanics: This isn’t all mechanics related, but I’m stickin it here anyway. I like reading her flow of emotions and how they dictate her actions. It seems a little conflicting with your first post when you said everything faded away? Also not a fan of the parentheses. You probably could’ve left them out but kept the content. It seems like too much info for the “aside “parentheses are meant for.

  • THIRD POST
    • Defensive: (block) I love that her collar took the brunt of the tack, plus your description of its make and the limitations it has.
    • Mechanics: The motion that you’ve woven seamlessly throughout this post, and this thread in general, has been terrific and really kept me engaged as a reader.






CLOSING REMARKS:
I don’t know why, but for whatever reason I ended up judging this a lot more harshly than I expected. Overall it was a really interesting fight to read, and I like how you guys made it into a spar, but that they both were very emotional after the Davke attack, and so they weren’t really giving it their all as far as brutality. With Ike, I would’ve liked to have seen smoother writing with a little more flow. Plus, you had a couple places where I wasn’t sure what was going on and it brought me out of the fight. I absolutely loved Sera in this fight, the emotion was all there, the thought was all there, and everything flowed seamlessly together. The only trouble I had, was with you guys confusing where some of your attacks and damages went. I know the scores are on the lower end, but please don’t think that I think your writing is crap, like I said I just judged it a little tougher. This was a very interesting read. Well done!










Played by Offline inkbone [PM] Posts: 67 — Threads: 0
Signos: 3,705
Administrator
#9

EIK vs SERAPHINA


@EikTotal: 78/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity 26/30, Realism: 17/25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity 13/15, Realism 10/15
WRITING: Creativity 4/5, Realism 4/5, Mechanics 4/5

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

  • FIRST POST (intro)
    • I really like how smoothly this read and how well it showed Eik's "enlightenment." The Davke attacked affected so many Solterrans and all in different ways - but the calmness that Eik exhibits displays perfectly. In his actions, and in your words - it flows wonderfully!

  • SECOND POST (defensive/attack)
    • Defensive: Although he didn't fully avoid this blow (nor even try to), I honestly can't say that this is felt at all unrealistic because of that choice. It somehow fit his mindset very well!
    • Offensive: I do question if it would be sensible for Eik to use a recently injured shoulder to attack with, but given his frame of mind, it almost makes a little bit of sense!
    • Mechanics: There were a few sentences that read oddly, but nothing too extreme! The phrase "In fact some part of him wants to be the punching bag" read a little odd to me - it might have benefited from adding a comma after the in fact, to emphasis a slight pause... however, when discussing grammar, a comma is not necessarily required in that particular instance - so it is neither right nor wrong to have it with or without.

  • THIRD POST (block/attack)
    • Defensive: You chose a very unique way to block her secondary bite! While it wasn't directly addressed, it can be assumed that with his change in stance and position, the flank bite wouldn't make its mark.. however, it would have been nice to see it at least mentioned. It was, however, nice to see him think cooly and logically on how to maneuver around the mane-pull.
    • Offensive: I think his defense and offense lead into one another wonderfully! I liked the smooth transition from her pull, to his following of her motions, and then the sudden rear, pulling himself away and potentially leading her into his next attack.
    • Mechanics: The first paragraph threw me off a smidge. There was a sentence that started with "and" that felt like a very abruptly ended sentence... like there could have been more meat to it to make it read better or pull you in more. However the rest of the post was very nice! I especially liked the previous masochist quote reference.







@SeraphinaTotal: 66/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity 23/30, Realism: 20/25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity 10/15, Realism 5/15
WRITING: Creativity 4/5, Realism 2/5, Mechanics 2/5

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

  • FIRST POST (attack)
    • Offensive: It was a simple attack, and there's nothing wrong in that! I came into this almost expecting this to be a "let off some steam" spar, but she seems much more tentative and thoughtful than I first expected.
    • Mechanics: I really liked how you worded her initial attack - it read very easily! Despite being a lengthy post that was mostly introspective, it lent a lot to the situation at hand. I liked how Seraphina's nature really shined - as angry as she was/is, she has a level head. In both your writing and Sera's actions, you can clearly see how her mentality changed - from the anger she felt about the Davke attack, to the fight/spar at hand.

  • SECOND POST (defensive/attack)
    • Defensive: Eik wasn't actually going for her shoulder, but rather her side - so I think that was a little bit of an oversight.
    • Offensive: I liked the idea of how, even though she's got all these thoughts roiling around in her head, she still has the mindset to be more tentative with her attacks. I WILL say that the mane pull and then flank bite were two technically separate attacks, so be mindful of those! ^-^
    • Mechanics: I do think the flashbacks in the parenthases were a nice touch, however at certain points I feel like they almost interrupt the flow? I think what threw me off the most was the formatting of them - multiple ends/restarts of the parenthases made me feel like when 1 was ending, the flashback was fully done and we were going back to present... only to move on to another aspect of the flashback.

  • THIRD POST (partial block)
    • Defensive: I really liked the addition about her collar, plain and simple. It's such an important part of her yet sometimes easily forgotten.
    • Mechanics: Honestly, I don't have anything negative to say about this post. It was very to the point, and the emotion you wove into it was beautiful.






CLOSING REMARKS:
I really loved the emotion that BOTH of you wove wonderfully into all your posts. Everything felt very genuine and real, especially given the most recent events. There were a few instances where both of you had unrealistic aspects, but that will always happen in every fight! Overall, the ending was my favorite part. Sera not giving in to Eik's masochism - and recognizing that it was just that - was a very poignant moment.






        






Played by Offline inkbone [PM] Posts: 67 — Threads: 0
Signos: 3,705
Administrator
#10

DICE ROLL


@Eik's starting stats: 24EXP - 8 health - 12 attack
3exp/10health/10attack were gained AFTER the start of the battle, so they do not count towards his stats for this battle.


@Seraphina's starting stats: 28EXP - 17 health - 23 attack
3exp was gained AFTER the start of the battle, so it does not count towards her stats for this battle.




@Eik:
78(battle total) + 20(health+attack) = 98
98(total) * 1.24(EXP) = 121 (rounded down from 121.52)

@Seraphina:
66(battle total) + 40(health+attack) = 106
106(total) * 1.28(EXP) = 136 (rounded up from 135.68)

121 + 136 = 257

1-121 = Eik, 122-257 = Seraphina.

Roll 1: 109 (Eik)
Roll 2: 110 (Eik)
Roll 3: 193 (Seraphina)
Roll 4: 164 (Seraphina)
Roll 5: 77 (Eik)

Proof of dice rolls: See the 5 consecutive dice rolls in the Discord "contest" channel (06/06/18 @ 3:51p EST)

Congratulations, Eik has won!



All damage taken in the thread is still applicable and cannot be retconned!

Participate in a Battle: +1 EXP to EIK - +1 EXP to SERAPHINA 
Win a Battle: +1 additional EXP to EIK
Total: +2 EXP to EIK - +1 EXP to SERAPHINA

Eik and Seraphina's official experience has been updated to reflect these changes, so there's no need to post in the Experience Updates thread!

This thread is now locked and been archived.






        







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